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Only 5 months to go and school ends.
Monday we will get our reportcards.
And well, I had 4 really bad grades the last time.
So I worked hard, and I hope it's only 1 this time, because I can redo 1 exam.
Also I know wich school I have to go when I finish my 2 years middleschool.
I have to go to Fontys, a special school for middleschoolteachers.
It's so expensive O_O I have to pay 1625 euro's for each year.
And I need 4 years there, and then we have the books and the software.
Damn that will be so expensive.
Also I don't have a job anymore, and I won't search for a job anymore.
Cause I have bad grades when I work T.T
Cause I always have to work after school, then I have to make homework. wich means sleepless nights, like I had the past 4 months.
And over the past 4 months I only had grades below the 5.
Only English and Biology are high. But yeah.. .
Also I'm feeling a bit better.
I'm not so depresive anymore, no sudden sadness and crying anymore.
Though sometimes I just plainly feel bad but yeah, I have friends who cheer me up everytime ^^
Also I found a new hobby =D
I fitnis, from min. 2 to max. 5 times a week.
It's so much fun and I really love it.
Also I'm eating more healthier now.
Only next time I fitnis i make sure to eat something before.
Cause last time I only ate 3 crackers like I always do on school, and then suddenly I had to go to fitnis, and damn I was hungry =O
( I fitnis with a friend and her parents, and her parents just can't make up their mind when we have to fitnis >.> )
My headaches also don't come that much anymore.
Only when I get them now I feel like dying from pain. But I have my tablets, so I don't have that much pain after I take one.
O and my wrists keep schrinking. The are soooo small now.
My father says it's a good sign, it means I'm losing weight.
But it scares me a bit. Cause I can wear my babybracelet again. And I wear my watch on the firts hole.
My friend Joyce is scared XD she is smaller, and freaking thin ( Though she eats almost 10 sandwiches on school each day, yes she eats and it just dissappears in her black hole called stomach ) Joyce and also Tessa are very. . well stunned cause my wrists are even thinner then their wrists. but yeah ^^;; It's not like i can say to my wrists: Schrink stupid things!
Some people say it's my own choice that my wrists are so thin. .
Though I don't really know how that can be my fault, it's not like I can shrink them at will. . . But yeah, Some people whink I eat too less.
I eat:
Monday till Friday: Breakfast, and dinner
in the weekends: Lunch and dinner.
Cause I really can't eat more with my sicknes.
but yeah ^^;;
Wow now I see my journal I think it's awasome how much I wrote down today.
O one more thing
My sweethearts:
Tessa
Koko
Joyce
Happy 16th birthday to all off you ^^
Joyce party is 6 february and we will get drunk XD
Sex on the beach!!! Such a tasty drink.
We will have much fun I know already ^^
O more things:
Dear Jaivi, I am so sorry for your loss.
First your grandpa and now your grandma.
Know that we are always there for you
Much lovies: Koko, Joyce, Jessica and me.
Now I say this about Jaivi.
both my grandparents are very sick, my grandfather had his ' I lost count' Heartattack.
My grandmother was also very sick and lay in the hospital again.
Also my dad is very angry on them.
Because the lied to us, and my grandmother hates my mother. .
I knew she didn't like mom, but to hate her. .
But yeah she hates me too I know now. . And that only because I'm my moms daughter.
Now I don't really have grandparents anymore.
Cause my mom's parents also hate me. Cause I'm the daughter of my dad.
Stupid jehova's ( no offend to other jehova's!!! )
So except for this all, my life is getting much better.
I have loving friends. Loving parents. And teachers who talk with me when they think I'm down again. I am really gratefully to all of you ^^
Also in times like this I now know who are real friends, and who are not.
And be sure, I will remember this, cause sometimes I feel really bad, about 'friends' who only talk about themselfes, and when someone's grandparents are dead and you as a friend only say something utterly stupid about your social life '' my friend will so laugh about our school's new name *giggle* '' Be sure, that you will lose a great friend.
( Thank you Jaivi that I may talk about this, cause I still am very mad on someone, and know you can always talk to me when you need it )
So if you already give up reading this, I can agree XD
Damn I wrote so much.
But yeah much happened this year. and the month did only just start =O
an d next month is my 18th birthday!!!
 PsychoWhisper · Sun Jan 25, 2009 @ 03:10pm · 1 Comments |
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