there's a guy I know (NO I DON'T like HIM) and he is very interesting he...
is quiet
dresses up in black (he isn't goth!)
always looks like he's thinking about something
is great writter (my opion.)
gives great advice to his close friends (so i've heard(i'm kind of shy to be his close friend))
said "sometimes a guy really likes a girl but he's afraid of telling her that because she tell would everyone about it"
recently said "If you like someone so much tell them don't hold it in because you"ll feel miserable until you say the truth" (wow that was really sweet and true...)
but sometimes he...
says things about killing something or someone as an expresion sometimes
talks getto
is smart but doesn't use it
he makes bad choices because of his friends sometimes...
is a few other things but i don't see them in him
to me he is cute (i guess..)
to my mirror he is more than that she could sense his aura and it wasdifferent and special
but now he is not like that is it because he changed or is it because I put my mirror away so he is gone too.
the strangest thing is that me and my mirror see his appearence the same way...
so many questions...
is he a mirror in the mirror why when i looked at him his eyes were gray,blue,red, but now they are just brown like everyone else's
and the strangest thing is that today i thought i saw green...
but what does green mean?
i wonder if i bring out my mirror which one would he like better her or me?
if i do bring her out i'll forget me and it took a lot to remember myself...
but then again who is it that likes him me or my mirror...?
sometimes i wish i could stare at him and know his life is...
with 10 seconds at looking at him i know all of the light his dark shadow carries...
maybe...maybe i might like him... he isn't like other boys and i don't think anyone else sees him the way i do (i wish he knew that...)
1/23/09
i wonder if all of this is beacause i (mirror) have/has a crush on him...
all he does is avoid me ...
we just walk past each other (even though we both look back)...
it could be modern day guy code thing but then again...
sometimes i get so mad of hiding my curiousity about him that i just want to yell at him "hey you! we've been in the same class for a semester and we barely know each other! you are the least person i talk to out of the whole class! stop avoiding me and notice me!"
but i'm afraid what if...
he avoids me again
he thinks i'm weird
he gets mad at me...
maybe i'm just blind of all the darkness in him maybe that's why his aura is diffrent
imagine if i was light and he was darkness...
but it doesn't matter,
if it means giving up all of the light in my heart to his heart i would...
if it means giving up all light to his soul just to know what he's like i would...
but it's diffrent in the real world even though sometimes
i wear a sweater like my mirror
i wear the "heart" of my mirror (made out of gimp)
i wear the mood ring of my mirror
i have the soul of my mirror
but i'm not my mirror...
whatever happens i'll be there for anyone especially you, ******
1/29/09
ok that's it i admit it! i've locked my mirror and i don't know why but i'm ignoring her... i don't even know why
1/30/09
you know what this is reality things like that don't happen... i'm giving up on everything! i'm over that stupid guy! and i don't care! whenever i lock my mirror up his unusual aura is gone as well ,but i don't care now...
How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time.
Nor can I ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.
The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.
(I'm screaming, "I love you so." wink
On my own.
(My thoughts you can't decode)
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well, yeah.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Yeah.Yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
I think I know.
I think I know.
There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true
2/3/09 she's still locked up...
2/4/09 ok a few days have passed and i still walk near him without blushing now, good!
2/5/09 oh no the math teacher made me sit 3 seats away from me and i talked to him!!!
in math some dunb kid was getting on my nerves (dumb as in funny) and i got so mad and embrassed that i was about to clober him! well the anoying kid sits in the 2nd chair next to me,no one sat in the chair next to me (good!),and he was sitting in the 3rd chair. more to the point, the math teacher doesn't put attention to anything so it was a great chance to "slap" him and so i stood up from my chair and ran straight toward him with a fist ready and the kid stood up and moved back screaming "oh sh** "(LOL)
and he just sat there looking at the show i was putting on,until i heard a really loud "EXCUSE ME!" big surprise it was the teacher!
i quickly hid my fist and gave out a big smile, trying to stand next to my seat without the teacher noticing. he was laughing at me and the boy (but not a ha ha! laugh just a lol "what a show!" laugh (that made me feel better))
"EVERYONE TAKE A SEAT!" the teacher screamed. (yay i wasn't in trouble! (lol)) i sat down still laughing and the anoying boy snickering.WHAT A SHOW!!!
2/6/08 another exciting day at math this time i decided not to talk to anyone. but before all of that i walked into the room and put my stuff in the desk and a waited for the boy to move his stuff so i could sit.he looked at me weird (ech! was my first thought) and while he had his back turned the boy whispered to me "he likes you" (GASP! ) eek i pretended to look like i had no idea what he was talking about. then he said it again "he likes you". (so many questions!!!! he like him no way! it can't be him that boy is lying) too bad for the boy that was whispering that because this time he heard the boy. (da da dum!) (i didn't know if i was blushing or even turning purple!) he took the guy by his arm draged him all the way to the door ,and i saw him punching the kid as he was pushing him out the door. (WHOA!) ok math didn't go as i planned i was too surprised to laugh at the annoying kid's jokes but i did giggle a little when i saw him get in trouble
ok so all of this time i've been thinking what if the boy who whispered at me told the truth? nah he was probably just wanting to bother him right??? say right!!! i mean i heard that he likes another girl... but that might be old news... then again if he did he would just be following the guy code by punching the other kid by letting out his secret... IDK!
this was not how i planned math!
AND HOW COME WHEN I LIKED HIM HE DIDN'T LIKE ME!!!!
looks like the real me won and not my mirror me... something's not right...
2/7/09 i talked to my friend, she said that there's a good chance that he doesn't like the other girl...
(why?) because the teacher in english made us write a story using the sentence
"my gf / bf was a jerk" my friend reminded me that he wrote something that proved he still didn't like her. a part the story he wrote said
"my gf was a jerk. she never cared about anything so i finally told her "look i think it's better if we don't talk anymore and move on with our lifes""
i can't believe i didn't notice that he was talking about the girl he use to like... my friend was right... something she and i talked about that i still can't let go is "he wrote that essay based on that girl. he finally realize that you are the one he likes" the way she worded that made me think alot especially when she said "he finally relized you are the one he likes" i keep thinking that boys like that, in reality don't happen... but then i think that he's not like other boys because something was unusual about his aura... was or is??? i don't know why but i can't tell his aura anymore : (
2/8/09 today the moon was beautiful and hypnotizing... it reminded me of him... i wonder if he thought the same... i wonder what he thinks about me...
maybe i'm afraid that he might turn out like every other boy... what do i do if he asks me out? what do i lose saying yes? what do i gain saying no?
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
2/9/09 nothing shockingly interesting happened today... maybe a few weird things...
his best friend asked me who was my best friend... (not so weird...)
i kind of saw him talking to another girl he looked very interested on her or what they were talking about...
i don't want to get carried away that he definetly likes me, i mean a boy i never knew told me that he likes me... *sigh*
no matter what i do i admire him , and i don't want to be heartbroken... but i like him... a lot " if i were the light and u were the darkness i'd give up all the light for u" (i thought that a long time ago and i still think about it now...)
2/10/09 ok so i thought today was very stressful but it changed. it strated out me daydreaming about him coming over my house and we would sit on the door stepes and talk about how we don't talk much at school, the daydream went well until the teacher gave me a "warning" for not paying attention in class after 1 period came 2nd period the worst because of the teacher, she is so mean (strict) to everyone today (not me because i did my essay "perfectly" wink so after that i went to math THE MOST ANNOYING TIME OF THE DAY! (why?) because the annoying/dumb kid was feeling a little EXTRA today
all i want to say is i was so close to making that kid bleed (well he made me really furious (i can't believe he made it out there alive))
NOW here comes the WEIRD/CREEPY/UNUSUAL part i actually saw him walking right past my house! NOT KIDDING! i was watching MTV for some reason and i looked outside my window it was a shadow... i know this shadow from somewhere... something told me *find me...look out the window...* GASP! no way that's not him ,but yes it was him... he was walking looking around... I started screaming "NO WAY! EEEEPPP! IT'S HIM!!!" i didn't know what to do should I say hi? should i scream his name out? should i catch up with him and do what i was daydreaming about? time ran out, he was walking by the corner so i couldn't catch up to him and if i call out is name now i might scare him or something... I WAS SO ... FLABBERGASTED (whatever that word means) i can't believe that actually happened! i wonder if i should tell him that i saw him walking by my house (nah... he'll know i'm on to him
wow i can't believe my daydream was partly true... that's weird...
2/11/09 I think i lo-,i mean i think it's really sweet what he did today.
in math he was throwing pencils at the annoying kid (yay!) (i was still remembering how i saw him outside my house (and i found out where he lives, barely a block away from my house!)) and one of the pencils landed near me so i picked it up i looked at him he was pointing at the annoying boy to make it look like the annoying boy threw it when it was his pencil. i giggled a little. but it was time to give him the pencil. i didn't know if i should walk up to him or throw it at him (time was running out) so i threw the pen aiming at his hand and he caught it. he looked a bit red as he turned around. in the background the annoying kid quietly blurted out "b***h". i was about to give that annoying kid a peace of my mind but just as i was about to he turned around and gave him the "stop it or else" look.
"what did you say!?" he yelled in a *you are gonna be seriously damged* voice
the annoying kid looked scared and said " ... i uh... was... talking to my calculator !"
"good." he said knowing i was watching him.
there were so many thoughts in my head like "wow. i can't believe it. he stood up for me..."
anyways i just noticed that it's almost valentimes day and i don't know what to do. i hope he doesn't asks me out because... well because!
something is telling me that i shouldn't be with him and i don't want to be heartbrokened (even though that kid said he likes me, he could be lying). *sigh* i just... I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE-LIKE HIM!
[Rihanna:]
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)
[Ne-Yo:]
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did
[Rihanna:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong
[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you
[Rihanna:]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oh..)
[Ne-Yo:]
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh
[Rihanna:]
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right
[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so
[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...
[Ne-Yo:]
Yeah... Oh...
[Rihanna:]
That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)
That's how much I need you (oh..)
That's how much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you
[Rihanna:]
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so.. so...
2/12/09 today i woke up and my mirror contacted me! she had a face full of sorrow i wonder why...all i heard her say was "don't... don't trust him... reality...fantasy...colide...careful...snap out of fantasy...before it's too late." what did that mean? what about him ? i thought she was locked up... wait i remember! the first day she showed up she sang a song, "look into the mirror beyond me... notice that i'll be here with you..." it might mean whenever i'm start to miss her i should look for her in the mirror ,but not the object ,her real self and even when i don't realize it she's always there...
at school i was a little bit too serious because of what my mirror said and whenever he did something i ususally thought was cute nothing happened...
in math he was... neutral maybe? or just like everyone else... i'm tired of him hiding his real self! i don't like him being all "gettoh" i want the real him, with feelings, and maybe i should stop being "gettoh" too... i have been doing allot of hiding my face too... i should be my real me... but then again is my mirror me really me? can my mirror be me? do i have a "me" of my own anymore? i think i'm just being gettoh because he is... i need to show him my mirror me and if he likes it good, if he doesn't, too bad! (i wonder if he likes me at all anymore)
I HATE YOU! wait do i hate you or my mirror?
(*spanish*)
Eres lo que mas quiero en este mundo, eso eres,mi
pensamiento mas profundo, tambien eres, tan sólo dime
lo que hago, aqui me tienes. Eres cuando despierto lo
primero, eso eres, lo que a mi vida le hace falta si no vienes,
lo único, preciosa, que mi mente habita hoy.
Qué mas puedo decirte, tal vez puedo mentirte sin razón,
pero lo que hoy siento es que sin ti estoy muerto, pues
eres lo que mas quiero en este mundo, eso eres.
Eres el tiempo que comparto, eso eres, lo que la gente
promete cuando se quiere mi salvacion , mi esperanza y mi fe.
Soy el que quererte quiere como nadie soy,
el que te llevaría el sustento día a día , el que por ti
daría la vida, ese soy. Aqui estoy a tu lado y espero
aqui sentado hasta el final. No te has imaginado lo
que por ti he esperado pues eres lo que yo amo en
este mundo, eso eres, cada minuto en lo que pienso,
eso eres, lo que más cuido en este mundo, eso eres.
2/13/09 I keep thinking about what my mirror said... thought about my feelings for him... i kept thinking will i stay in reality or fantasy ,and if i choose reality will i ever see my mirror again?
do i love him? what if i did and he and i became and "item" what would happen in my future...
foucus... in reality what does he do? does he care more about popularity more than anything???
but than again...he hides his feelings...and no one realizes it but, his normal everyday life is sad (i could tell that his parents don't ... "bond" with him)
there has to be someone to help him out... that someone... I want that to be me.
I want to save a life, his life. from making mistakes... from getting in trouble... from thinking that there isn't a better world out there...
i want that person to be me...
and with that thought, i had the guts to try to talk to him , when i saw him today walking by my house today so this time i ran outside my house ,running as fast as i could ,so fast i didn't care that it was only 40 degrees outside, my heart didn't care. the only bad news was that i couldn't catch up to him, i tried whistling, it didn't work... but i was proud that i at least tried to talk to him... and i know that soon enough i will change his life... i'll make it better... but to do that i'll need my mirror's help, will she help me?is saving his life the thing my mirror wants me to avoid? does she know if i'll be heartbrokened? once and if i change him... what will happen?
2/14/09 valentine's day... i avoided thinking of him it didn't work much. one thought came into my head...
"will he ever read this?"
2/15/09 i took a walk around the neighborhood and got a good, long look at his house. it wasn't a "cheerful" blue it was a serious blue type of house. i saw a basket ball hoop and two cars (maybe?)
when i was in the middle of looking at the yard i got feeling "WALK AWAY NOW ,COVER YOUR FACE!" and before i responded to anything i did exactly what the feeling told me to do,and i ended up at my house when i started thinking logicly again. i sat on my doorsteps i thought "what was that feeling? my mirror?" untill i had a weird thought, "telepathy... what about it? is it possible someone telepathy to tell me that? could he use telepathy!? and if he did, what made me obey the command?" i can't get that out of my mind and the worst news, I DON'T HAVE SCHOOL ,SO I CAN'T SEE HIM! (hopefully he'll walk by my house)
~ just imagine... what if he had a "power" ~
2/16/09 i thought of stratagies to make me and him friends (for now). first i should earn his trust... how...? i thought of his birthday... i wondered about his horoscope and mine... maybe... just maybe it can help me think of ways to be friends with him.
You have such different ways of expressing yourselves -- communication seems impossible at times, and you wonder if you're speaking the same language. But if the attraction is strong enough, you can get by if you learn to read the subtitles.
Work:
There are few signs that can keep the unruly and wide ranging mind of a Gemini under control, but Pisces is one sign that would make an excellent manager of a Gemini worker. Similarly, Gemini has the ability to unlock the wisdom that tends to lie buried in the mind of a Pisces and use it to the benefit of a work project.
Friendship:
Gemini likes to have fun with friends and is happiest when in the midst of an animated discussion or sharing some juicy gossip. Pisces likes to emotionally connect on a deep level and is dismissive of what appears to be trivia. It is unlikely that these two signs will ever be best buddies!
Love:
This relationship may seem strange to people on the outside, but to Gemini and Pisces it can make perfect sense. Pisces is attracted to the charisma of Gemini and finds the intellectual agility to be a valuable complement to Piscean wisdom. Similarly Gemini is intrigued by the deep perceptiveness of a Pisces partner. This mutual admiration can keep this relationship alive for many years.
"it is unlikely that these two signs will ever be best buddies" that worries me a little ,but then again you can't always trust horoscopes...
i'm still thinking about what happened yesterday ,maybe i should forget it... maybe what i need is to take some time off from thinking about him,this week should do the trick...
2/17/09 trying so hard no to think about him...
i met someone nice today... he was a person i could trust but still... i need to know if i can actually tell him about my mirror and me... (would he understand me?) *sigh*
i've been thinking since i talked so much about that guy it might be time to reveal his name...
should i?
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