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sigh...... i guess...... my life does really...... suck....... i finally got the chance to go out with shannon....(we talked on the phone and she said that she would like to go out with me) i asked her "do u thing we will always be together...?" she said "i dont know..." then i said "i hope so..." the she giggled.... it was a christmas eve mirical for me.... a great birthday and christmas present..... but..... i had to wait till monday....... (january 5) and go to school to see her...... i was ganna be so happy...... but..... the day after new years..... she said that her fwend.... (i cant remember his name) said that he liked her...... and she liked him...... and so..... we talk...... and i said "i'll get of the phone for an hour or so to let u talk to him and see wat happeneds...." though..... i knew..... that if i did that..... then i wasn't going to be with her anymore....... but i did it anyway to make her happy.... and be with someone better..... than me..... and hour later...... i called her on the phone and well..... she said "i like him.... i really like him...." i didnt know wat to say then...... and she said next.... "do u want to break up.......?" i said "no.... no.... i dont.... i like a lot...." so she got real confused and didnt know wat to do..... so she said "Heath.... i thing she should stay fwends....."..... i was quiet for a while and said..... "well..... o-ok..... if thats ur choose..... then... ok.... i just want u to be happy...... " she said "Heath.... plz dont be sad....." so we talked a little bit more..... and then i said goodnight... cause it was late..... and.... so now we're fwends........ but i didnt want to stay fwends.... i wanted to be with her..... and it was only a week...... and on the phone..... so..... it..... didnt even count as going out..... and so now.... even thogh she is going to be 1 of my best buds...... i have to hide my sadness inside me........ and i guess.... no 1 gives me a chance...... cry and i like nobody else more than her...... crying