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dark chocolate isn't that bad. >.<
roflmao!
xD

first day of 2009
and i wake up at 4 in the morning.
bleh shizt. lol.
;DDD

and yeah...i was mad!
mad as fckkkkkkkkkkkkking hell!
>O
and mmhmm i was jealous to.
grrrrrrrrr; shizt.

buuuuuuuuuuuuut....
im not anymore...
i truthfully don't care anymore...
its bothering me a little bit.
he likes her. [my bff]. and i like him,
my so called forever. Ox
but that can't happen...you see.
im thinking fairytale...while everything around
me is reality, grrrrr. lmao. i dream
while reality flies right by me.
i do loves him still. i was jealous...
but i really have to understand this life of mines.
i messed up... i do live in my own little lalaland.
lmao. and what really hurts though is that
i do have to grow up... ima be 15. next year
ima start driving...then get a job then other stuff...
be an adult. i've been smaked around alot.
its tuff being the slow one. xD but i end up getting it...
-sigh- they're in love is all im saying.
i understand it all. and my real concern for both of them
is that as long as she doesn't act like the purple cow
[be that b***h she is] and he doesn't say fckkk life
then im kewl with that.
this probablly isn't normal for a friend [and a teen]
to say... but that's what im thinkign right now.
that's what im feelign. and that's kinda what my heart is
sayign right now to... >.>

im not going to go cry right away...
go cut like i did.
im not going to be weak like they say...
ima grow and then lets see what i become..

this is a new year.
even though 08 was the best year i have EVER had...[so far]
i have been looking forward to 09.
i really want to change who i was....
and maybi those thoughts will come again.
and i will cry myself to sleep
maybi i might slip. and the blood drains from me.
i might just mess up. maybi its just easy to say.
but, i really do believe ths year will be good.
maybi the best. who knows. ;]

ahaha. i really do wish everyone a good year.
i hope for the best...for everyone xD
even that stooopid purple cow.
even for the friends i've lost.
even for the friends i WILL lose...
for everyone...[: happy new year.


this year will be interesting.
a new me. a new heart. a new head on my shoulders.
no new scars [hopefully]
new hopes and dreams.
hmm, just a new me.
no more being weak. [:
...
just a stoooopid random rocker dance dance
head in the clouds worried crious teen.
tryign to figure out what there is for her in life.
trying to find herself. and helpign other along the way.
:]

-vernalyn

2009