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Okay Gaians. I'm starting to freak out a little bit. Im starting to have so much homework that I barely have time to talk to my friends and boyfriend. It's starting to scare me, because school is NOT something that should consume one's entire life. I need something else. I don't even have time for my art anymore.
I'm sneaking on here right now. My homework isn't even near done and I've been hacking away at it for four hours straight now. I still want to draw but I know I won't have time.

I'm getting sick of society again. At one point I used my art to get rid of my pain, but now...I don't have time because of the s**t that our society puts me through. I don't have time for what's important anymore.

What the hell is important, anyway?? I just don't know. Important to one man is garbage to another.

My pain is like a black hole, a hole that I sit in, dragging myself through life, just doing things to do them, so that everyone will leave me be. I was once in my hole, and now that I'm out, I feel free. But I sort of miss it.

Well, I'm not going to fall into that hole again. I'll stay up late if I have to. I need my outlet for my pain, and I'm not letting something as trivial as school take that away from me. It's truly ridiculous.
But I'm nervous, because the hole is getting bigger, and it's smiling at me. How inviting to me it seems to just crawl back in and be in my dark, safe, small space. I hate it when I'm in it, but then when I'm out of it I want to go back in. It's scary.
So I'm nervous, because the hole is calling to me.
And I refuse to go back in.
For now.

Miss