I Miss U Lollah
Today is the death my precious Lollah. She was my dog, and now I miss her very much. I never had her off my mind, because I was the one that was reckless when she died. I was so stupid and selfish, and that's why she died. I blame myself because of her death. She was the bes dog that I can have, other than my other dog Demon. She was somewhat obidenant and all she wants is to be with the owner. I regret being so reckless back then, because I just miss her so much. I promised myself that I won't cry, because she's been gone for a while now. But it's hard to forget something that's imprinted on your hear.
I hate myself for it. She was the best, and now, I killed her. It was a year ago that it all happened. She got out of her cage, and she ran out. It was the beginning of school that it started, and I didn't have time to work about her. And I was wrong that I didn't. I can't just not care for someone that was still out there. It was like a mother looking for her missing child. You have to know that she is out there, and I don't deserve to have her now cause I was all so careless. And I hate myself for it. I deserved to suffer for her absence. It was all so wrong. And the worse thing that happened is that I showed my tearful eyes in front of everyone.
I can't lie to myself, and tell myself that I was alright, because I know that I wasn't. I had to know that I was going to be alright later on, but once I think of her all I can feel is anguish and remorse. I don't know what to do with myself. My best friend got a phone call when they figure out that Lollah was missing, and now they know that it's not just that she was missing, she was gone. I didn't even get one last glance at her. My dad was the one to be looking at her, and I felt so guilty that I didn't see her at that moment when they found her all hurt. All they could do is burn her body. And once I heard that I was the one at fault, all I could do was cry again. But I knew that I deserved it all. Why was it not my fault? All I could do was hide from everyone else.
My dad wasn't helping at all. All he could do was blame it on me, and I knew he was right to. It was all my fault that I let her out of the cage because I didn't fully lock it correctly. I hated it when everyone saw me cry like that. It was like, they saw a different me. Because I don't cry like that in front of everyone. It was as if I was just someone new to them. But they didn't say anything to me, because they knew the story. But all I want to say right her and right now is that I miss Lollah. I've missed her for almost a year now, and I've always missed her. If she was here right now, I would talk to her out of nowhere. Asking her all these questions and just have a girl talk. I'll talk to her about how I've missed her and about my problems with boys and school and about my parents, and about these new songs, and the birthdays and everything.
I know that she wouldn't answer me, but if she was just there, and she was right in my arms that I can hold her... I would trade it all for anything... I just wish she was with me... right here, right now... I want her with me!!!
Today is the death my precious Lollah. She was my dog, and now I miss her very much. I never had her off my mind, because I was the one that was reckless when she died. I was so stupid and selfish, and that's why she died. I blame myself because of her death. She was the bes dog that I can have, other than my other dog Demon. She was somewhat obidenant and all she wants is to be with the owner. I regret being so reckless back then, because I just miss her so much. I promised myself that I won't cry, because she's been gone for a while now. But it's hard to forget something that's imprinted on your hear.
I hate myself for it. She was the best, and now, I killed her. It was a year ago that it all happened. She got out of her cage, and she ran out. It was the beginning of school that it started, and I didn't have time to work about her. And I was wrong that I didn't. I can't just not care for someone that was still out there. It was like a mother looking for her missing child. You have to know that she is out there, and I don't deserve to have her now cause I was all so careless. And I hate myself for it. I deserved to suffer for her absence. It was all so wrong. And the worse thing that happened is that I showed my tearful eyes in front of everyone.
I can't lie to myself, and tell myself that I was alright, because I know that I wasn't. I had to know that I was going to be alright later on, but once I think of her all I can feel is anguish and remorse. I don't know what to do with myself. My best friend got a phone call when they figure out that Lollah was missing, and now they know that it's not just that she was missing, she was gone. I didn't even get one last glance at her. My dad was the one to be looking at her, and I felt so guilty that I didn't see her at that moment when they found her all hurt. All they could do is burn her body. And once I heard that I was the one at fault, all I could do was cry again. But I knew that I deserved it all. Why was it not my fault? All I could do was hide from everyone else.
My dad wasn't helping at all. All he could do was blame it on me, and I knew he was right to. It was all my fault that I let her out of the cage because I didn't fully lock it correctly. I hated it when everyone saw me cry like that. It was like, they saw a different me. Because I don't cry like that in front of everyone. It was as if I was just someone new to them. But they didn't say anything to me, because they knew the story. But all I want to say right her and right now is that I miss Lollah. I've missed her for almost a year now, and I've always missed her. If she was here right now, I would talk to her out of nowhere. Asking her all these questions and just have a girl talk. I'll talk to her about how I've missed her and about my problems with boys and school and about my parents, and about these new songs, and the birthdays and everything.
I know that she wouldn't answer me, but if she was just there, and she was right in my arms that I can hold her... I would trade it all for anything... I just wish she was with me... right here, right now... I want her with me!!!
