*sighs* Most of the RPs that I joined seem to be dying... Of course, I joined most of them during the summer, but still...
Let's see... I got mad at Jefer yesterday, because she didn't come to school again for a BS reason. And, she was supposed to come over too... but then I realized that I was gonna forgive her sooner or later, so I might as well get over it, and that's just what I did. I hate being mad, especially not for long periods of time. Besides that, she's my best friend.
So, she came over, and we took pics with my crappy Barbie camera blaugh I'm in the process of getting them saved onto my computer, but it's a long process, and I just haven't had the time yet... We took one pic and made it for the site www.wearenotafraid.com... haven't put it up yet, but we have it biggrin
Freakily, Jefer took a few pics of me near the light, and it's really cool... looks like I'm with a ghost or something... however, in 2 of the pics, there's a white orb thingy sweatdrop
Let's see... we had a lot of fun doing that ^_^ Then, today, it was her b-day party, so I went over there. We played You Don't Know Jack again...She beat my all time low! gonk IN SEVEN GAMES!!! She got -$68,500! eek She sucks! lol, one of the question categories was "The Mother of All Jokes" and I said "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD!!!" It turned out to be a gibberish question, and it was "Which punch line rhymes with this...?" AND IT WAS TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!! xd I rock cool
Um... tomorrow, Jefer and Latara (my sisters, actually -not biological-), are coming over biggrin
OH! Freaky story! I would post it in my guild, but Guilds are currently disabled... stare ANYWAY!!! My cousin, who commited suicide a few years ago (I really miss him... and it's the reason I hate it when people joke about suicide... seriously, DON'T ever do that around me...) And he seems to communicate with my mom sometimes. It's happened once before... anyway, this time... It all started with music... it always does... my mom heard a song on the radio that she hadn't heard in a while, that makes her think of him... All right, she thought nothing of it... Well, we go out the other night to pick up pizza, and outside the pizza place, right in front of where we had to park, is this guy who looks EXACTLY like my cousin... I mean, the same hair, beard, clothes style, mannerisms... it was just really freaky... The next day, she's looking for something in her office on a patient, and comes across a patient with my cousin's NAME. And that's happened before, but this is a DIFFERENT person! And, the doctor dictated two notes on him... and when she read them, it was talking about that the guy had had his stomache stapled, and had lost a bunch of weight, anf felt great...
Well, my mom thought that he was telling her to quit smoking (yes, my mom smokes), but as soon as she told me, I realized that it was about my other cousin... he's over weight, and is thinking about getting his stomach stapled, because he can't loose the weight himself... and he's tried... and it's giving him a lot of health problems... So, I told her that, and she was like: " eek Oh my God... you're right..." and we went home, and she called my other cousin to tell him this...
I just had to tell someone that... ^^;;
On another note, how can one person affect how you feel so greatly...? Last night, for some reason, I felt extremely down, and like I could cry any second... and in the period of a few moments, a very close friend made me feel just so much better... But at the same time, someone can just say something that ruins your whole day... no, no one has done that to me recently, so don't worry if you have. I've just been on a thing recently where one bad thing happens to me, and it's like a domino effect, and by the end of the night, I could seriously cry... *sighs and shrugs* I don't really know what's wrong, but no one should blame themselves for me feeling this way...it's my problem.
OK, it's really taking a lot for me not to delete all of that, but I won't... people who read this (all one of you... xp ) have a right to know...
...I hate it, I really really hate it... What is it? THe fact that I'm so easily hurt. How can one thing a person says to me hurt so much? How can one person bring me to tears that I don't even know? Why can't I keep promises that I make to myself? *sighs* I don't know anymore... I barely care anymore. I can't really talk to a lot of people about things like this, and really the one person I could talk to just turned on me... I've told myself that without hearbreak, we cannot fully feel love, but that doesn't make the heartbreak hurt any less. I'm honestly sitting here, shaking, barely keeping back tears, because of one person... I'm not entirely sure if I'll get over this. How can there be so many faces of me? Around my friends, I can be perfectly fine, cheerful and laughing, which is how I usually am. But recently, especially at night, I haven't felt so great... about anything...
Well, I'm through typing depressing things. Almost... I hope you all realize that even in the midst of the terrible tragedy that Katrina brought upon out country, today marks the fourth anniversary of 9/11. It has only been FOUR YEARS. America made a vow to never forget. Yet already, we are. But we can't. If we forget, it can happen again. And it most likely will, sometime down the road. But for now, we have to remember. Our generation especially (since most of my gaian friends are between 12 and 18, that's who I'm speaking to).
lol... Now, I could go into a rant about how there's been so much tragedy in the world today, but I won't... I did that rant in my rl Journal the other day, and I don't see the need to repeat it here.
I'm feeling a little better, getting it out there... please, I don't want people to feel sorry for me, or worry. I'll be fine. I'll survive. And I'll be stronger because of it. And I won't ever EVER EVER contemplate taking my own life. There are too many people that I could hurt... WOULD hurt if I did that. And I will never make people go through that. Never.
QUOTE: Without rain, we could never truely appreciate the sun... That's a real quote, isn't it...?
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