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Yellow's Precious Thought-bin
Titles and Trains
Yeah. Genius me just found out how to put titles on journal entries. So I went back and put one over every entry! Easier to remember that way.

I'm thinkin' this entry's just gonna be a ramble, a random train of my thoughts. So buckle up, 'cuz these can last for a while.

Lookin' at the mrgreen emoticon...why is he green? Why did they choose green instead of the traditional yellow that they've gone with in every other emoticon? Is he supposed to be green with envy? If he is, shouldn't he look like the stare emoticon? And why does the talk2hand one look like it's trying to pretend it doesn't know me? Am I not good enough to be your friend, mr. talk2hand ? You don't like something about me? You got somethin' to say!? That's right, say nothing. You can't do anything anyways. You're just an emoticon. Why don't they have sounds? And why is it when you have a scary dream, you try to scream and you can't, no sound comes out and you get even more scared and just try to scream more, thus getting you nowhere? And then you have those dreams where you're just walkin' along, and you step off the sidewalk or somethin', and a jolt goes up through your foot right when you hit the street and you wake up? Why would you do that? You're not in any immediate danger, why would you wake up? Why would you wake up then, but not during the scary dreams? Does your body want you to suffer? Which makes you wonder why dreams seem so real. I've dreamed several times about stuff that has no real meaning to anything whatsoever, and then a couple weeks later, that dream will happen. What possible purpose does that serve? I can't remember the dreams after I have them, why let me have them? Is there some deep and hidden meaning behind me sitting in class and watching a book fall out of a desk? Awake and Asleep? Anyone else ever had one of those moments where you're layin' on your bed, and you start thinkin' of stuff or daydreamin', and you start thinkin' about more and more random stuff until you open your eyes and look at the clock and run your fingers through your hair and realize, "Hey, I fell asleep!" but it was only a light sleep where you got to watch everything that happened, and you think "Why did I think of that?". Of course, my dreams have gotten much more pleasant. Not that I have nightmares, I have a dreamcatcher the size of my computer, but I just seem to be sleeping better. My mind is slowly bein' eaten alive, consumed by something I just can't get out of my mind for more than 3 seconds. It's not a song either, which makes you wonder: Why do you get songs stuck in your head? I've gotten songs that I haven't heard in days stuck in my head as soon as I wake up, and I'm like, "Where did that come from?", and then it drives you completely insane because you can't get that song out of your head? It just keeps playing over and over again, and usually only the most random part of the song too, and you're like, "Gawd, I hate this song, but I can't stop singin' it" because at that point you're all into it and you're tryin' to alleviate the music by singin' it or listening to it, but it's not working. And then all of a sudden, you'll stop hearing it because you got into thinking of something else, but as soon as you realize that it's out of your head, it'll show up again and you'll be all like, "Why didn't I just leave it alone!?" and then you realize how hard it is just to control your thoughts. Especially when you try to think about it, because the more you think about stopping thinking, the more you think and it starts gettin' you frustrated because you can't stop thinking even when you're tryin' really hard not to, so you try to concentrate on something else, like the floor, or the wall, and you stare at that one thing so long that your vision blurs and you start seein' little pictures in the floor/wall/whatever you're looking at, and it's like, "OMG!! There's people in my carpet!" and then you have to make that very difficult decision to actually go down there and look for what you know isn't there, but you wonder if it looks the same from a different angle, or just stay where you are because what if someone from your family, like your mom, comes in and sees you examining the carpet, and she'll be like "You're on drugs!" and it'll be like that song where the kid's like "No mom, I was just thinking" and the mom's all like, "No no, you're on drugs". Anyone heard that song? It kinda makes me sad though, because my mom's a drug addict (at least she was when I last saw her) and she left me with my dad 6 years ago because she found her addiction more important than me, so here I am sitting behind a computer, very happy that I don't have to see her anymore but sad because she's my mom and I still miss her, and I think about it alot, even though I try not to, which as I mentioned is very hard to control, but I'm happy because life is going good for me, and I think I'm going to be jsut fine and one day I might be able to look at her without wanting to either cry or hit her, but not right now, because I'm still sad and pissed and I'd probably cry if I saw her because I don't have the heart to hurt another living person.

Wow. I'm not joking, that was seriously just completely random thinking right there. I just pulled it out of nowhere and there it is. Awesome!
You all have just known what it's like to have my mind. Enjoy that, because you can't touch this, my my my my music hits me so hard, makes me say oh my god, and yes, I'm listening to MC Hammer right now, leave me alone xd






User Comments: [6] [add]
The_Manly_Succubus
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat Aug 09, 2008 @ 03:38am
I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. But one thing....

Paragraphing my dear, paragraphing. I had a hard time reading this.

^^


commentCommented on: Sat Aug 09, 2008 @ 03:40am
Me too, but it's just one long train of thought that keeps going on and on, so it only makes sense to have about 1 big bulky jumble of me.



hvaosrdtreb
Community Member
Onii-chan Wijo
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat Aug 09, 2008 @ 03:46am
Did I ever mention that I find rants adorable? heart
Adorable's not the word... arousing?


commentCommented on: Sat Aug 09, 2008 @ 04:02am
Aw, you've ruined my journal for everyone else! Now I'm gonna put nothing but rants! xd Not really, but thank you liebe. I try to be as arousing as possible ^.^



hvaosrdtreb
Community Member
Tropical Dreams
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat Aug 09, 2008 @ 05:21am
Riigghhtt... XD


commentCommented on: Fri Feb 20, 2009 @ 04:21am
Really interesting stream-of-consciuosness writing here. Feels like you just wrote everything as you thought it, similar to the train described in the title.



The Singular Enigma
Community Member
User Comments: [6] [add]
 
 
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