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I got an interesing e-mail today and it was about "things that hallmark caeds don't say" I thought they were hilarious, cant stpo laughing. Here they are...

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My tire was thumping,

I thought it was a flat,

when iI looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
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Heard your wife left you.....How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

she moved in with me.
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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad noone likes your husband.
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How could too beautiful people as you ...

Have such an ugly baby?
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I always wanted to have...

someone to hold...

someone to love...

After meeting you,

I've changed my mind.
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I must admint, you brought Religion into my life...

I never belived Hell until I met you.
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As the days fly by , I think of how lucky I am...

that you're not here to ruin it for me.
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Congratulations on your promotion!

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably meed it again.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Uncle Dad!

(Available in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, West Virginia, and Alabama)
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Happy Birthday!


You look great for your age!

Almost Lifelike!
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When we were togeather,

You always said that you'll die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.
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We've been friends for a very long time...

lets say we stop?
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I'm so miserable without you,

it's almost like you were here.
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Congratulations on you bundle of joy!

Did you ever find out who the father was?
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Your friends an I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.
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So you daughter's a hooker

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's realy good pay.
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Thats all i got in the E-mail.......see ya! xp