I am excited. Overwhelmed. Stressed. A flurry of other emotions are also hitting me with the exact force of running headlong into a speeding Mack truck with no intention of ever stopping to check if the struck pedestrian is actually going to not die from the impact. I wish things could be simple again. I want to be able to just wake up and not remember. Because really, that is what's killing me. Memory. Pretty much, I'm fighting with someone from my past. I want them to realize that I've grown up and I am no longer in need of someone to watch out for me. Besides his help trying to protect wasn't exactly helpful. It was a parasitic relationship and when I finally found out it was almost too late to pull myself out of the deep hole that had been dug. But I don't want to think about that, I want to stop being melodramatic. I want him to be jealous of me. I have something that he can't even dream of having. My life is still going on no matter what he tries to do or say, and his random appearances aren't going to cause the screeching hault that he's praying for. So you know who you are, if you're reading this. It isn't going to work anymore. You had your chance for friendship, maybe even a relationship had the timing been right, but you screwed it up and inadvertently lead me to one of the greatest things I could have ever found.
Moving on from that.
That feeling of actually being busy and stressed out (which I haven't really felt since before OGT week.) is starting to come back. I have an exam in an hour and twenty minutes (although it's health so I don't really think I care all too much.) and after that exam I never (ever) have to deal with the class again. Which makes me happy because around the end the teacher made me want to pull my hair out. I'm not going to go into that, because then I would be badmouthing teachers on the internet, which could most likely get me into a lot of trouble when school goes back in session in august. I'm very pleased to be getting out of school for the summer. Although school does let out. I have to go back all weekend for a dance recital that is going to be my last with the incredible Heather Cowell, and I'm probably going to be an insecure mess because of my costume and it's fit (or lack thereof.) But also Sunday, I'm going to leave for Camp OFLA '08. Which will probably be the greatest job in the world for a foreign language aficionado like myself. Basically I'm at a summer camp getting paid to teach Chinese and German to 4-6 graders.
I never thought a 15 year old could hit a jackpot like that. At least it beats working at Bakers for another summer.
But my job hunt is still going on once I get back from camp.
Oh yeah, and I turn 16 tomorrow. It's kind of sad, everyone has been telling me early, and it might be because nobody is going to see me, and will forget to call. But I got a cake in the shape of a car accompanied by what is quite possibly the greatest card ever hand drawn by an 11 year old. Ever. I might have the greatest cousins ever.
Here Is a picture of said cake (pronounced Dan Gao in chinese)
 <--Cake in shape of pink car.
I'm also going to throw in a picture of my baby cousin William who recently celebrated his upcoming birthday. In my family (and probably in most families as well) on a baby's first birthday they are given a cake that is separate from the cake they serve to guests and are allowed to do whatever they want. Well William decided to not eat any of it and just launch it at unlucky bystanders and roll around in it. So I took a picture and I'm just going to show it off so I can remember that day.
Hmm that's all I really have to say. I'm done with school pretty much, I've got a dance recital at the high school if you want to come and see it by any chance (Saturday at 7 and Sunday at 3) ($10.00) I promise that it will be worth the price of admission. I'm kinda bummed that most of my friends leave for Italy/Spain the day before i get back from camp, but I hope that I wll just see them before band starts and their existence is entirely untraceable.
s**t, health exam in 40 minutes. I'll post again once I get back from camp.
**old post, I really don't have a dance recital this weekend. I just copied this from my livejournal so it wouldn't feel so empty.**
No longer a member of the Jackson High School Choral Department,
<3 Amber
 Amber Difranco · Tue Jun 24, 2008 @ 03:32pm · 0 Comments |
