dear journal,
i like to write stories and i think im good at writin. so, please if u read this, please rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.
CHAPTER 1:
I sat there in the meadow full of lush green grass. I was slipping into unconsiousness, and i could see everyone forming around me. They all had worried faces and all seemed as if they were squinting their eyes at me. Now, they all knew how dangerous it was to be in an open meadow. There were all sorts of dangers out there but they wouldn't listen to anything i said. They alll ignore me. Besides they only let me play because Geoffrey, their other friend, was sick with the chicken pox. I only wish that they'd accept me into their group for who i am. But, that will never happen because they say i'm nothing but a loser. Anyways, what had happened was we were playing baseball. I was running to the side of the bases so i could be guarding first base. But, sadly, it wasn't such a good time to be running twoards the base...... you see i was running and when i was running i ran in front of the batter. The batter yelled at me and i turned my head twoards the batter. next thing i knew i felt this intense pain in the back of my head. Yeah you guessed it, i got hit with a fast ball. Next thing i knew i was falling down to the ground and some girl shouted my name.... yeah i know some girl actually knew my name! Anyways, when i was falling i felt a slight trickle of wet go down the backside of my head. Yeah, i knew i had got a gash in the back of my head. So, as i slowly went into unconsiouness, i saw the girl who had screamed my name. Yeah, she was looking at me, alright!
"Jeremy! Jeremy are you okay!?", the girl yelled.
Her name was Rose. I loved her to death. Yeah i know i'm pathetic. But, that was the least of my worries. I knew i was going to bleed to death because i knew they didn't give a s**t about what happened to me. But, i guess i was wrong. I woke up the next day in the hospital, and woke up to see my mom sitting there, watching my every move..........
So, let me know what you guys think. If you guys like it i will keep writing chapters. But, when you guys stop commenting i eill stop writing chapters. thnx and see you laterz! byez!
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Community Member
pretty good, except the tone of it seemed a bit off