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I don't care if anyone ever reads this. I just need to verbalize my pain right now. The first person I ever really loved got married yesterday and I wasn't invited to the wedding. It's probably for the best that I didn't go and I don't know if I would have nor not anyway. But what hurts is that I wasn't even invited - she didn't send me an invitation. We've had a very colorful history and even though we were never romantically involved with one another (against my wishes...and yeah, I did tell her how I felt. That was messy.), we've remained pretty close friends with weekly phone calls and such (she lives in Chicago, whereas I live in Los Angeles)...at least I thought we were close. I thought I was definitely someone she would invite to her wedding. She even told me over the phone a few months back that I was one of her few guy friends she wanted to invite. But the invitation never came. I have to find out from friggin' Facebook that the wedding was yesterday.

Guys, that just really hurts a lot. Not only did the girl I've loved since my first year of college (almost 6 years ago) get married to someone else, but she didn't bother to even send me a wedding invitation. What the hell? She was my inspiration; my muse...the one person where the thought of spending the rest of my life with her didn't scare the piss out of me. Now she's gone and it's obvious that she wants no part of me anymore. Well, that's whatever. Guys and girls can never be just friends anyway. Now that she's got a d**k to call her own, she doesn't need me around in any way, shape, or form. Good to know I meant so much to her.