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Wow, I have a small dilemma.
Well sort of.
Anyways I kinda like this guy, but things are moving a little fast for a long distance relationship. And we're not even dating!
But I know it's not fair to him, because A) I've tried long distance relationships, they never work out in the end. B) I just like him, not love him. I love a couple of other people. C) He's really sweet to me and flirting and I know it's wrong to let this go on, but I don't want to stop him. Because well, I kinda like him. But it won't work out so I'm kinda stuck. Hurt his feelings, which I don't wanna do, or try and loose him as a friend.
Here's the thing.
I relised how to make a relationship work for ME, not the other party. I need to be alone, to do what I want when I want and with whom I want. I dated this guy, for the point of the story lets call him Jayce. When Jayce and I dated, we were only dating when we were around each other. I could go out and go to the mall, come home and sleep, and not have to explain why I missed his call. And Vice versa. We broke up due to the fact it was a semi distant relationship, and the fact I wouldn't 'put out'. He live about 30mins away from my house, two towns over. It was like a 6month relationship, and true we weren't always together. But that's because we needed our space and to take care of other important things. We had an understanding.
Now here's another problem....
I'm in love with one of my besties. I know I could never be with him, and truth be told I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with him. He's my everything, weather or not he know's it. We're each other's reversed mirror image, and I feel so comfortable with him. True he's a little narcasitic, but I love that about him.
It's a different kind of love then from your close friends, or your boyfriend. It's ten times deeper then that. Although most days the love isn't returned.
Thirdly
My ex's are getting out of hand. Kristy, a wonderful gal, wants me back, and I can't date her anymore. It's just something weird about her. Gary wants me to date his brother next. And all I want is to get a good night's sleep!
Truth be told I'm happier when I'm single. I don't have to worry about anybody, or what would happen if I he/she found out what I said at such and such time. I hate dependency on anyone and I hate people constantly relying on me for something.
It's causing horrible stress. And stress and I don't get along. It causes me to have massive breakdowns, horrible insomnia (this side effect has been set into motion already.), depression ect.
Basiclly I shut down, and I'm getting sick of this dating/guy problems crap!
 Goose Saved The Day · Wed Jan 16, 2008 @ 09:43am · 0 Comments |
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