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Joke 1
A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was having an intimate encounter with a beautiful young woman.

"What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

Joke 2
A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly. "Is Mr. Spenser there?" asked the client on the phone.

"I'm very sorry, but Mr. Spenser passed away last night," the receptionist answered. "Can anyone else help you?".

The man paused for a moment, then quietly said, "no" and hung up. Ten minutes later, he called again and asked for Mr. Spenser, his ex-wife's lawyer. The receptionist said, "You just called a few minutes ago, didn't you? Mr. Spenser has died. I'm not making this up."

The man again hung up.

Fifteen minutes later, he called a third time and asked for Mr. Spenser. The receptionist was irked by this time. "I've told you twice already, Mr. Spenser is dead. He is not here! Why do you keep asking for him when I say he's dead? Don't you understand what I'm saying?"

The man replied, "I understand you perfectly. I just like hearing you say it over and over."

Joke 3
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Joke 4
70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back
with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically.
How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and
do you have a good relationship with your God?"

George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's
fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom
(poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when
I'm done."

"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!"

A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said,
"George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in
awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night
and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes
off?"

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator
again!"