When i was in the 4th-5th grade i was sad and hurt all the time. I regert anything that happened during those times in my life. I was young(er) and just stupid. sad
You see...back in the day...i was 9 and these boys(dude) always kept touching on me. -there were 3 boys all of them has failed mayb 2 or 1 grade level.-
-not holding hands stare or anything normal-
hum...i didn't tell my parents..because i was embarrassed to tell them. So i was left in a position where I'd go to school for about 7hrs straight in the same classroom with these jerks and have to do school work. Most of the teachers that had me in their class realized that the boys bothered me but just thought it was a "playing game"
There was a day when my knight in shining armor came to save me. but...one day I got carried away in thought. And i did something terrible to my knight, and it caused us to never be so close again.
The evil dude said If i told him to do anything he would do it. And my playful knight had been bothering me so ...i got evil dude to get revenge on my knight. I thought it would be something funny but
evil dude hit him. And for some weeks after that he bullied my knight. I decided one day to end everything! SO i slapped evil dude with one of my books! He looked at me strangly filled with hate and shock. We didn't fight but i was ready to.I started to cry in my sleep asking myself why wouldn't i tell on him. I figured it would only get worse if i did. So every night i prayed that he would fail...fail and never have to be in the class with me! Pray that no one touch me again...no one will ever touch me, grab, rub me stressed ever again.
and God answered me...I went to 6th grade. ONly one of the boys followed me but he wasn't gonna do anything without his ring leader. ANd i was happy and went on to high school. there i had friends who loved me. and didn't touch or feel on me.
in 9th grade though...the ring leader came to my high school...he was in 7th grade. I was sorta shocked and creeped out. But i met him in a story and he told me he was sorry.
-i had already forgiven him...it took time but i did-
and now i'm the care free little monkey-ram before you all. blaugh i hated myself for doing that to my knight. I think i did want to die...but i realized how many people would miss me. And if i'm not dead yet I have something to offer to this world. Maybe my story is meant for some other sad girl?
I just wanted to get it off my chest is all sweatdrop
phew... ninja
