Its strange that almost any person I meet could be my friend since I have never known myself to create a enemy of any sort. But all fade away so quickly since I aint very socially active, to be honest, I tend to be antisocial unless spoken to. Which makes the fading even faster when I do not poke all the friendly people, my contact list grows longer and all I can do is put people in right categories so I can remember who they are if they suddenly poke me after months of paying me no mind.
Its not that I can complain about my situation in life, to be honest, I dont have a life to complain about because its all just a collection of habit and daily routine. I grow tired of it, and when a place that used to be a source of entertainment and amusement for me becomes something that is fading from me too because Im too indecisive to follow the flow when everyone else has jumped and landed after a new layout seemed to shake everything apart, most just made new connections without complications since not everyone clings onto common things and familiar faces as a necessity.
I could honestly only count up a handful of people that I consider close enough that they wont fade as such, but afraid that I fade from them their minds. So simple that to speak only to one person would give me the daily dose of communication. Feeling restless when so few of this handful are around when that someone does not show for a while, only then I feel alone in a corner with no one to speak to. And often its the dilemma of certain people not being the best subjects to share my worries with if that were the main subject in my mind.
I like random things and random people, without such I would honestly be a lonely person in every meaning you can find for the word, people who begin a conversation out of the blue might even brighten my day since Im not much for starting conversations, specially when I have not spoken to them in a very long time.
I need something, and it comes as a strangely hard to get subject. Because of my own habits. But I'll still be trying even if I fail until I become a complete lurker in the shadows, I'll become one of those mysterious creatures in the dark that only take action when threatened or confronted. Because that's what I am when all things are shed, my smile, my laughter and easily amused ways, since those are the common traits of a mask that covers a suspicious mind and dark humor that does not want to be notice by the people.
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erotic, not exotic... fruits are exotic
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