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The Hopeless Journal
In my Dreams..
i don't understand my dreams. i woke up around 4AM after having the most wonderful dream. and it was hardly anything at all but it gave me the most amazing feeling. i dont know who i was but it just felt as though i was at complete peace for 2 seconds. just one unrealistic hug made me feel totally calm.

For some reason i was walking though grass. and there was so many people there as well. there was one boy. long black hair. wearing only black clothes. of course taller than me. we walked up to each other like i knew him and he knew me. for some reason i felt so tired and he hugged me. and picked me up with my arms around his neck and legs around his waist. head on his shoulder. i was staring at the shadow of him and i as he just walked. carrying me as though i was a small child. and it just made me feel so happy.

i felt warm inside and i felt whole. as though i didnt have that empty feeling i usually have. i believe ive only felt that way once in my life. a thursday. and i believe i never will feel that way again. but that dream was just so great. i had missed that feeling so much. there was two other friend in black by my side. male. but this one really made a difference. im not sure if i had angered him later in the dream but it just made me feel so calm and happy.

i woke up and cried. i cried because i know i will never get that feeling again. or maybe not in a long time. i cried because i realized the only time i will feel that way is in a dream. that my life hurts so much that one dream, sleeping seems better. sleeping either kills me one night or helps me another. well this once. ive been having nightmares since August 13 and after every one ive sobbed my heart out. but this one has given me hope of a greater feeling even if it is only in a dream.
but its also given me more fear. i fear i might dream of horrible things when i sleep bit im scared i wont be able to see him in my dreams again. although itll most likely never happn.

i wish to know who that was in my dream. you realize who someone is once you see them in your dream. even if they look different. but he. i couldnt picture who it was at all. possibly someone i havnt met yet. is this person dead. has he, or even so, did he ever exist. i need to know. he might save my life. 9/12/07 - 1:08PM

[But then, look at me, thinking someone in a dream might be a real person..]






User Comments: [4] [add]
Ethan_The_Forsaken
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Sep 13, 2007 @ 03:42am
...your luckey...I never have any dreams anymore...I suffer from nitemares...the same ones every time...it never gets old...it hurts more and more each time...sometimes they get worse...Im never getting used to it...I pass out in order to fall asleep...


...your luckey...for having a wonderful dream... I'd kill for one of those...


commentCommented on: Thu Sep 13, 2007 @ 03:56am
If i could put out each nightmare i have here, i would. But i don't want to be reminded of them. That's why i put this one up, it surprised, and confused me. But.. it was weird since i had this dream after a day when i .. didnt talk to anyone.



The_Hopeless_And_Broken
Community Member
Banning Staff O8 Team
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commentCommented on: Fri Sep 14, 2007 @ 03:17am
Wow Sammy, thats sounds like a very pleasant dream. crying So pleasant I could cry. I'm happy you could have such a dream. The last pleasant dream I can remember was two years ago and that was half peacful pleasure and half hell.


commentCommented on: Fri Sep 14, 2007 @ 03:22am
i know, it was amazing.. And actually, i remember only one dream i had before when i believe i had that feeling.. *looks at Ethan* i think i told Ethan before.. Yeah, um..
Well, the dreams last night.. Man, it was one continuous nightmare. It's like everyday in the dream, i was running from some kind of death. And every day was like a different way of dying. Disease. Murder. Accident. Etc. But in each time, it was like one thing was causing it, and to stop it for that one day, i had to take out that thing.. And if i didn't, i would either try to survive the day, and move on to the next or get killed, and then face my next death.. it was so strange.



The_Hopeless_And_Broken
Community Member
User Comments: [4] [add]
 
 
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