He is amazing. We just went to a Christian concert with him and two favorites of mine, Third Day and Sanctus Real. So as you can see (if you're bored enough to bother reading this...), I’m on a bit of a Christian music kick. Sanctus Real opened, doing quite a few of my favorites from the two CDs that I own. I love those guys…They manage to sound “new” and be just as uplifting as the not-so-new guys.
Third Day went next, and that’s when I really started to feel it. I’ve been having quite a few doubts about my faith lately, and that’s an understatement, but honestly, when I got to “There’s a Light at the End of This Tunnel” those were all but gone. Before the concert had started, I had gotten my second T-shirt of them - We had seen them with Michael in concert before, and I had decided that I liked them a bit better than him.
Michael W. Smith has been in the business for quite a long time. He was singing when my mom was my age, and so naturally there were quite a few parent-aged people there to see him. I was with a few friends, and we enjoyed ourselves quite a bit just being stupid and getting stared at by the people our age dressed in brand-name clothes. But when Michael started his bit, I realized that I had underestimated before. He’s a pianist, and his songs are, in a word, beautiful. Both the lyrics and the melodies are so powerful; he doesn’t have much for dare-you-to-hold-still songs that send your feet tapping, but he had the ability to send me into a sort of trance.
I quickly lost interest in what my friends were doing and eventually distanced myself. I could just feel the Spirit there, whether my subconscious is convinced God exists or not. And I knew. It sounds stupid to me, since I’ve gone to a tiny, private, Lutheran school all my life. God has been so closely intertwined with my existence that at first it seemed ridiculous of me to doubt him. But my mind can be pretty darn scientific when it wants to be, and sometimes it’s hard feeling so separate, so detached from nearly everyone else in my school for my morals.
Well, I’m not going to say that the doubt ended tonight, that from now on I’m going to have a hero’s faith and never be afraid of death again. But I know for sure that I can make it through. I can be as detached from the mainstream world as I feel sometimes, and that’s okay, ‘cause I was meant to be.
Eventually even my friends shut up and listened, especially my sister, who quit fooling around pretty quickly and got really into it. Just one of the many reasons I wuv her. He did this amazing song about healing rain, and a lot of gorgeous songs that I couldn’t list if I tried. Near the end was one that I barely remember…except for the fact that it had to do with Standing. The way he sang it, it deserved a capital letter. I loved it, and it was the first time in a long time I had stood that tall.
I might be going to a concert featuring two other favorites soon: Tobymac and Barlow Girl. Tobymac is…eccentric, to say the least, but I absolutely adore a few of their songs, especially “Ignition.” The lyrics “Hold up the flag ‘cause it’s ride or die” get my heart pumping every time. And Barlow Girl…well, there are really no words that describe my adoration of them. They’re probably my favorite Christian band. “Never Alone,” “Porcelain Heart,” “Need You to Love Me,” “My God’s Enough”…Amazing.
So, here I am, getting all pumped for the school year. Not the schoolwork, of course, or even the social bit (Well, a little bit), but for the spiritual battlefield that I know it can be.
You know why?
‘Cause I’m detached.
“Hold up the flag, ‘cause it’s ride or die.”
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... salfksdlkfjsd.
You know me // your darker piece of the puzzle.