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Moving too fast? I have been sitting here trying to figure out how you can determine if you are moving too fast physically in a relationship, because I am definately thinking that we might be moving too fast, but I can't tell. I think my problem is that I love doing the physical stuff and I love to have him touch me, but afterwards I start thinking we are moving too fast! We have only been dating for four weeks and there is very definately no committment there. Except that I really think he cares about me. It's in what he says to me, but also how he treats me. And it's one of those things that I keep realizing that I would do anything for him. Because I really do care about him so much. But I just don't know. It's one of those things where I really think I want to give myself to him, but I want to wait for at least a year and the way we are moving physically, I would say next week it seems like we'd be moving onto sex. But I don't want to, and I know he'd respect that. Hell, in all honesty, I said he doesn't really want to take me like that either. But I've thought about it and we might actually start living together later...and it's one of those things where, I dunno, I can just see myself staying with him. I've never met anyone I feel this safe with or this strongly about. So it's tough to know. Am I going too fast or am I worrying too much? Please read some of my back posts to better understand this situation...I really care about him and it's really not all about the physical. Also, does anyone know what an "open relationship" is? And how does it differ from being in a relationship???

Posted by: wilderness.magic Fri May 06, 2005 @ 05:57pm

[img:3eeaa78306]http://i.picasion.com/pic38/21c9c2f4b4223d5b1c0f9bdebc00613a.gif[/img:3eeaa78306][/align:3eeaa78306]

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Dragon Aura
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Commented on: Fri May 06, 2005 @ 06:03pm


	I think you're a little on edge, but it's good that you're concerned. 3nodding A lot of kids these days rush into sexual relationship WAY before they're ready. You just need to take it easy and go with the flow. (My motto! xd ) Everything will work out right if he's the one who is really right for you. You'll know.

Commented on: Fri May 06, 2005 @ 06:07pm


	Dragon Aura: I think my main problem has just been that I think he's the right one, but he doesn't want to get married ever, so it makes it a lot harder for me to know. I want to just go with the flow, but if I had done that I mighta gone all the way last night and I don't think that would have been the best idea.

wilderness.magic
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Dragon Aura
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Commented on: Fri May 06, 2005 @ 06:10pm


	Hm!? 0.0 So you don't get along with him well? That's a bad thing... Hmm... You know what? If he really loves you, then he'll want to get married. But if he just likes sex, he'll dump you after awhile... But, if YOU like sex too.... o.0 then you'll both get along lol! But it doesn't sound like he really loves you...

Commented on: Fri May 06, 2005 @ 06:11pm


	I would agree with dragon there you are taking things way to fast, it almost reminds me of a friend of mine, who after spending not even a year together there already married, and lets just say that she treats him like a dog, but thats a diffrent story from this one. I'm just saying that it just seems that the only thing that I read from there is that you 2 have in common is the physical attraction to each other, to see if he is "the one" try stoping from touching or otherwise from each other for awhile and see if anything changes, pluse moving into sex after the fourth week is just plain rushing things anyway.

Carnalshroud
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wilderness.magic
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Commented on: Fri May 06, 2005 @ 06:22pm


	Dragon Aura: When did I say I don't really get along with him? In all actuality, we get along great. Check out some of the previous posts...I really think he really cares about me and he doesn't push me to do things physically at all...he really works to make sure I am okay. It's amazing. And I dunno, I keep thinking that with time he will change his mind about getting married, but I don't know. He might not. Again, the full story is in a previous post. GatoNeko: See, that's my worry. I don't want to be taking things too fast, and obviously I don't have any regrets right now, because I really care about him (again, see previous journal entry for that full story...I think it is two back but I'm not sure). And the odd thing is that I feel way more attracted to him mentally and stuff than physically...perhaps I represented things the wrong way here, but I assumed people would read some of the back posts. There is actually way more than physical attraction here. I love being held in his arms...and that's all. We've slept together and there's nothing like just feeling so safe. He really does amaze me...he's so wonderful! And obviously four weeks is jumping the gun just slightly. But it's something I've thought about.

Commented on: Fri May 06, 2005 @ 08:17pm


	An open relationship is when you see multiple people at the same time, and so do the other people. It's basically a relationship where your "allowed to cheat on them". It's agreed by all people involved. A relationship is just them, and just you. Anything else is hurtful and not right and not agree upon.

KamodoDragon
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wilderness.magic
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Commented on: Fri May 06, 2005 @ 09:00pm


	KamodoDragon: Thank you!!! That makes a lot of sense.

Commented on: Tue May 10, 2005 @ 06:01pm


	As you and I have talked about before, "moving too fast" is totally subjective. You're the only one who can make that decision. I've had sex four days into a relationship, and that was fine for that time and that particular person. With other people I've waited four to six months. Just depends on you and him. However, it sounds to me like you might have a bit of a regret problem. You're fine with it while it's happening, but then afterwards you mentally freak and start worrying. Is there anything that he does to trigger this? Maybe leaves or stops paying attention right after the physical stuff happens? If so, then that's a signal that (for him) it's about the acts and not about you. If that's the case, I suggest you either slow down a bit or just stay at the rate things are happening now and don't go any farther, physically. Maybe start seeing him in situations where you guys can't mess around. Instead of hanging out at the house, go out with friends or to a movie or to dinner at your parents' or something. Develop a more social relationship as opposed to a physical one. If he doesn't do the ignore thing afterwards and you feel like this is all in your head, then talk to him about it and see what he says. Don't bottle it up. See how he feels - maybe he's having similar feelings. Get it out in the open and let it become a living couple issue, instead of a nagging worry that plagues only you. Wow, that was long. xp

Nazi Halo
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wilderness.magic
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Commented on: Fri May 13, 2005 @ 09:03pm


	Nazi Halo: That's the whole thing is that we actually don't do much and we do get out a lot. We go to the movies and hang out with friends. When we watch movies, we kiss, but we actually watch the movie. And I think you're right, it is all in my head. And we did talk about it and we agreed that we would start over again. Moving too fast is subjective, but my main problem with it is that I worry about regretting something later that will ruin our friendship if we break up and grow apart. I don't think I could stand it if I ever did anything that would jeopardize that friendship. Because we are friends and lovers. And the whole thing is, I want to go all the way with him, but I want to wait until I am sure. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't make the decision while in the heat of the moment. Because then it is too simple to just do it. The thing is, I think he'd stop me at this point because he knows how many problems I've had with that in the past. If pregnancy and STDs weren't an issue, I would do it with him. But I don't want to have multiple partners in this day and age of AIDS. And if we do end up staying together as long as we want to, then I really want that to be something I can give to him. Because I want him and I adore him so much... I just don't ever want to hurt him and have him leave me. We have decided we will try to work cyclically in our relationship, where we will progress as far as we want, then start over again, getting to know everything all over again. It's tough, because we've done stuff so it's hard to not want to continue doing it, but it's nice because we can keep learning about eachother. And each time we get together, we work hard to give eachother the best of everything. If that makes sense.

Commented on: Sat Jun 25, 2005 @ 05:43am


	I would have to agree with him don't be on the edge so much. heart

jene-chan
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wilderness.magic
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Commented on: Sat Jul 02, 2005 @ 12:21am


	jene-chan: I only worry about moving too fast because I don't want either of us to regret the time we spent together if (oh horror) we ever broke up. Both of us want to have a long term relationship and we are well on our way. But I worry that things won't be as wonderful or as thrilling if we come to expect them to happen. But we talked about it, and I think we both feel the same way. I think the doubts are a natural aspect of our realtionship.

Commented on: Tue Jul 12, 2005 @ 10:11pm


	well first of all, try to chill with the physical stuff. go with him to the park or a zoo or something. do fun stuff that wont involve physical connection besides a kiss here and there and holding hands. that will bring you 2 closer together second of all, an open relationship is a relationship in which both people in the relationship are honest and don't keep anything from eachother. a regular relationship has its secrets here and there some major some minor. but in an open relationship there is none of that. neither person has nothing to hide from the other.

LACPuma316
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Starluvr
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Commented on: Fri Dec 29, 2006 @ 12:48am


	Well, in a relationship, there's bound to be some skin action.. and well, sometimes, if your try to stop it from happenning, the guy will think you don't like him touching you or well, you don't like him. And that's sometimes a common misunderstanding... but by the soudns of jon, he shouldn't be too hard on you about skinship and will probably even submit to your ways. He sounds really caring and I'm sure he won't force you into something you don't want. I don't think you are going too fast right now.. but if you jump into sex too quick. .then I guess it would be too fast.. on the other hand, my definition of an open relationship would be one where both of the guy and girl can speak openly to each other.. like keep hardly any secrets and where both trusts the other. Cause you know, in a lot of relationship, the girls, sometimes even the guym feel insecure and are very wary about the other.. such as if any cheating is going on.. or why if the other person is keeping something secret.. those relationships usually don't last long..

Commented on: Sun Dec 31, 2006 @ 07:45am


	LACPuma: I think my main worry just was that it would all end up being a waste and that we'd never progress very far. My longest relationship has been three months...until this one, which has lasted twenty months and counting. I don't think your definition of an open relationship is quite on the same page as what I was asking for. It seems to be a relationship where neither person is committed. Starluvr: He actually has always been very concerned with my feelings, which has been amazing.

wilderness.magic
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