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DMV
I've been to hell I spell it,
I spell it D-M-V,
Anyone that's been there
Knows precisely what I mean...
Primus- "DMV"
If there's any true loathing scene from "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" - it's the DMV. Three hours of waiting through several series of ticket numbers until your turn comes up. A true test of patience for those that have been through this route. Numbers are sometimes called in order, and at times out of sequence. Think of the Allstate hands with donkey poop in the middle. That's your prize.
Fortunately for Las Vegas, we have a little food stand. Surprisingly enough, the cheapest eats and drinks in town. It's strange to say this, but it's actually worth it. Aside from the Las Vegas Strip, this is the next best place to see a human zoo. All walks of life congregated in one sitting. Certain people that would never resort to talking to each other in broad daylight are doing just that. It's like breaking the ice without the beer.
This time I was prepared. I brought along some music to listen to. It also seemed that I wasn't the only iPod/Zune/CD player user with the same idea. Would you rather take your chances to hear several hundred people grumble about the same thing ? I think not.
My time was occupied with entertaining a baby in front of me. Smiling and making goofy faces was my way to pass the time. For a moment, I felt like John Travolta in "Look Who's Talking." I'm sure this kid said in his mind, "This guy is a pretty funny retard. At least I'm not bored ... Will his face stay like that ?"
After much persistence of time, my turn came up. I felt like doing a triumpant pelvic thrust, but held my composure. Gotta be careful around those "Nifty 50's". Those ladies will eat you alive =p
After a brief eye check, cash money, and smiling for a fake apple I was done, My new cop portrait was hot off the press. It won't fail to have a few people verify my nationality.
"Suspect is a Korean ... Chinese ... Mexican .. Hawaiian ... Filipino -scratch that. Asian male is heading down I-15 at 15 mph."
Yes, I smiled too. Why you ask ? It's to throw off all those emo and grumpy faces. Here's to a couple of more years before I hate new my license picture.
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