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3-5 #2(a proper entry not just gloating) |
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3-5 #2
Lol i wanted to write something but now there's so many things fighting for attention, i don't know what to write ><"
so i'll itemize.
1: mum got her friend to tutor me in math mondays and thursdays. Sucks, but i gotta do it. I need to score the SAT's. Also gotta study for my midterm and remember to email my teacher.....
2: on the subject of math, i've never been great at calendars. Yes, this is math related. So i lost the rest of last months meds and was trying to fo the math off of memory when i can start the next set and was off a day. Heaven forbid it didnt occur to me that if i started on a sunday, next month should start on a sunday too. Actually it probably did. Probably occured to one of my other 'brains' and it was dismissed/handled without telling me. Lol do you have any idea how annoying it is to have thoughts run through your head and do or solve something and disappear again not only without doing it, but without you even being able to figure out what it was? Extremely. I spend probably 3hrs a day stopping and trying to go through the mounds of thoughts i had moments before trying to figure out what happened. Wasteful and tiresome.
3: i talked to ginzo this morning (the loon pulled an all nighter) don't worry this isn't about him. Well it is a little bit but only cuz he brought it up. So we talking about our guild. And i do get to call it our guild. Whether he agrees or not-but i don't wanna talk about that, i said it won't be about him so i'll try to stay on track. As hard as that is for me. Ok so we were talking bout the lessons he was uploading cuz he pulled an all nighter (only explanaition on those i'm giving is like it says on my profile, he's my counselour of sorts. Well not mine specifically....oh gods shut up! You're distracting me D< even though technically you're not real cuz right now i'm talking to myself.....>.> ) anyways we got to talking about trauma. Lol nooo explanation shall be given for that. So it was brought up that a common side effect was trauma was a kind of multi personality disorder. Well he brought it up. I'm biased so i was trying to be neutral.... He said it was a simulated schizophrenic symptom and that one of the lessons is how to mentally create like a synthetic personality to handle the split and work as a go between (sounds weird yeah, but it worked for him) i can't really use it as i already have three personalities and it's been proven having four is extremely dangerous and any more than four could incapacitate all of them. Lol so yeah praying my princes can control their barons XD (lol throne dispute reference. Lame i know)
4: speaking of issues, something i havn't really thought of since the doctors is how poorly timed my mothers give a damn moods are. For years i've known there's been something off and i've tried to get her to take me to the doctors over anything (subtly of course. Can't tell her out right that i want a psych eval....) and she would never take me to the doctors. If i was sick she'd give me whatever meds were in the closet, put me to bed early, and i'd better well be better by the morning or i was milking it to get off work. Now, i've pretty much figured it out and managed to control it, and now she's taking me to the doctor over every little damn thing. I've had a sore throat the past couple days and shecwanted to take me to the doctors for strep! First off, i wake up every morning with a fever, a sore throat, and being unable to speak, have been for several years, secondly i don't get strep. I collect strep (and others) bacteria from sick people, my immune system squashes it so it never affects me, then goes to other people. Point being, she's never been like this before, and it's ridiculous. And pissing me off. I don't know why, maybe it's cuz of the break-in attempt, maybe it's her softness seeping through. Been soft ever since shea was born. Ugh. Distgusts me seeing act so nice and pc now that she has them. Hippocritical, distgusting, insulting, shameful....gods terrible. Oh yeah. And spoils! Telling shea for months if she doesn't clean her room she won't have a party. She made her room worse. Got two parties. She got a ******** television and stereo!! Suddenly my mother doesn't know the meaning of punishment. Like noah all over again. It's as if she just hates me that i never got off so easily on punishments or got them ended early or some s**t like that that noah, shea, and harrison always get. Yes i've talked to her about that. She admitted she does it. She said it's justified cuz i get better rewards. So she pays me more. Money i wont see for months and when i finally get it, it's built up so she can't afford it all so i only get 60% of my money. And unless i buy clothes, food or school supplies, i can't ever use them CUZ SOMEONE GROUNDS ME CONSTANTLY OVER NOTHING AND "FORGETS" ABOUT IT FOR WEEKS!!!! -ahem-. Appologies. Yelling wasn't neccessary.
6: (as 4 was kinda long and dragged into 5) sorry this is such a long entry. Like i said, a lotta thoughts. Been seriously stressed. Heh only gonna get worse. Also been writing in this for awhile. Actually, i was writing this morning is this a double entry?? Hmm....maybe. My bad. The first one was supposed to be yesterdays anyways.
7: is a bunch of usual crap i'm not going to detail out cuz mainly it's boring. And will probably only stress me out more. I'm as easy to stress as i am to confuse......
 BSPBleach · Mon Mar 05, 2012 @ 08:23pm · 0 Comments |
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