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I have started to write my journals down first then coping them to Gaia as they've been erased several times.....and most of the time I am unable to rewrite them. But anyways.....(I know, I say that too much) back to the entry mmm?
So. Where was I? Oh yes, Thank you Gaia for finally finishing and releasing the guild update! We can now get notifications about guild posts as well! Been waiting awhile for enough people to complain or bring it up...
And I also came across the band Nightwish while reading a journal. i havn't listened to much so I dont know if it will be added to the group of bands currently sharing he placeholder of my favourite or not, but so far, so good. Now that I finally found a decent band with that kind of genre mix, I can start a new Pandora station and restart my search from there. Hopefully it'll go well, or at least better than my previous attempt of putting songs from metal, rock, and orchestra genres together and hoping for the best. It hasn't gone well v.v
And well parents finlly made it home. Got to the airport a few hours ago, didn't go well. Then they went to my local Aunts house to give her something that was left to her by her now past mother. Of course it took awhile since it was rush hour and she now lives with her fiance in what ever that county is called thats an hour away without traffic....
Mother of course was in a sour mood, and luckily didn't bring up the fact that I missed another Piano class, nor how much homework I had achieved while she was absent. she will tomorow. Oh I have to email her, and get my homework printed for tomorow.....just a second.
Okay I printed it and need to email Huang, my chinese piano teacher.
......
Yeah not looking foward to it, or returning next week as I now have three weeks of homework due, and two absences. Not that I understand why I care, I going to fail anyways. And yes I know its negative and bad NLP, and if I keep saying that I am really going to fail. Well too bad! razz I don't enjoy the class, nor do I want to do it. When you put those together, I don't succeed well on my own. The other class I'm taking is supposed to help with that, but someone insisted I take more classes at once and wants me to be halway to whatever degree I could possibly want by the time I'm 18.......
I rant too much. maybe its a good thing. Its good for your mind to express itself, including its feelings. And since I don't ever do either in the 'real' world that is around me, might be good I do it here. So I guess apologies are also in order. Again. as people online meet only the extremes of my personality. I'm afraid thats because almost all the time I am online, my defences are down as there aren't actual people near me. So I switch wildly between masks, faces, behaviours, deamons, personas, whatever it is you wish to call them. And I don't have any control over it, or a nice conversion of them. It just happens. Fast. With nothing to counter them......So yeah. Why I am sometimes overly hyper, and sometimes morbid or ranty.
I have no idea why I brought that up.....oh well. I did and I can't change that. Well actually I could. All I have to do is shift through the text then hit the backspace.....but well I really don't like deleting what I write here. I write it here for a reason and if I allow myself to delete it, then it will become the life my vessel leads. Empty, a lie, fake, lonely, sad, hidden ect. ect.
Again. No idea why I am letting my mind wonder like that and putting it all down. I just noticed something. Sorry its random, the last rays of the sun have yet the lift their presence from my mind.....But I just noticed that when I write my entries seprately, I don't feel constricted, or nervous of someone reading it and what they would think doing so. I feels like a proper entry where I am talking to myself. Which I am untill some reads it. Well actually, I'm still talking to myself.....Whatever. I need to go. I'll finish later.
Okay I was gone for a great deal onger than I thought I would be. So all that was written from 8pm to 9pm. Somewhere in that area. And I am now writting at 1230-ish. So I would continue writting, but right now my head is filled with yet another of my story remakes. This time its Mass Effect 2 which creates some variable, and eh....interesting material for me to use. Wow. This is a long entry. So. I'm just going to end it here, and if I think of what I was going to add, I'll just make another entry.
 BSPBleach · Tue Feb 22, 2011 @ 05:24am · 0 Comments |
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