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I remember
I remember somewhere in the aching vally
of rhyming daylight, I looked back to
see you there, to see the darkness where it
had never been. I remember seeing sunlight
in your eyes, a warmth so promising and good
that I hoped it would always be there
as a warning. Your heart was broken, and torn apart
to bits and pieces on the floor, and now you live
only have alive, only half the person
you once were.
I remember looking down, and seeing all my
faults, all the people I wanted to love me,
all the things I feared
but never tried.
I remember looking forward into
the sunrise, where I met a friend
I never thought I would have, someone
who saw me just a little differently than
others seemed to, someone who cared even in the
dwindling twighlight of my life.
I remember look straight ahead, and over looking
everything that I had, to only see
what i had lost. I remember now, that I am still alone,
in a world that is unforgiving. I'm a single person,
against the current, with only a few
to hold my hand, to keep here,
to keep me from crying.
I'm no strong than any
other, I sing my solomn song, I make
choices I regret, and I am a deviant
to all that see me. I remember, I remember the first time
I ever met you, the silly things and
how they stayed. No more perfect than I
I can not let you go. I remember, that I'll always
love you. I remember, that friends are something you
keep. I remember, I'm not alone anymore.
Dedicated to two people who have made the biggest impact on my life this year <3 One will never see this, the other, if she reads it should know. Afterall, I talk to her every day like an addiction <3
I know the year is ending, My brithday will be ocming soon, and I'll be 17. I'm a lot older than I thought I was...afterall I was 14 when I started on this site, I was very naive and stupid. Now I'm older, and I see a lot more thing I thought I would enver see, I met people who have been so good to me, and I have met people, and realized that they were the scum of the world. I fell in love twice, and fell out of those loves too. I made a friend, I am so very lucky to have. My art has grown, and I took back up writing because of this person, because she made a bigger impact on me than she may realize. I don't talk to a lot of people anymore, I go to school, work, and when I come home, I come home and on the computer so I can escape the madness of every day. I lived another year, this one just as painful and rewarding as all the others. I got the urge to write this, because I wanted to thank all the people who stayed close to me...because I don't think anyone realizes how close I was to losing it over this year. I cried a lot, and I didn't speak of it. I smiled and kept my chin up, and yelle more than I wanted to. I'm tired of being strong, and I'm tired of trying to be perfect for others. I want people to like me for who I am, but because of that I find I'm increasingly short on them. I wake up every day to this same world, and even though the year is ending, nothing will change. I will live every day the same as I have, even if it slowly widdles away at my soul.
I wanted ot say thank you, to all my friends who over the years have stuck by me. ALl my real life friends, who I'm so different from. Every one of you have stayed with me, even though I am far from perfect.
And thank you to my friends on here, though few who talk to me, and the one that's always there.
Merry christmas everyone <3 I love you all ^_________^
Love,
Rui
 Anrui4 · Fri Dec 23, 2005 @ 10:28pm · 2 Comments |
