Dear gaia diary thingy,
I my heart feels so broken like I've fallen down an elevator shaft and done permanant cereberal damage. I wish I could take everything back but at the same time I think this is the only way to be happy.
I'm in love with my best friend...
To be honest, I wish this was some big misunderstanding, like I had a very ******** up dream.
I can't tell if I've just ruined my life by leaving my now ex for the 5th time or I've created a new happy beginning.
Why cant things be simple?
I've been crying non stop for the past 3 hours and I feel like a complete loser.
I DONT cry.
I cant figure out if I'm mourning a loss or realizing that life wont always go my way.
He doesn't really want me and it tears me apart.
I thought we had some kind of understanding, obviously not.
He has some other girl in his life and now I left a decent relationship in order to walk the long path of lonliness.
I want to just scream until the confusion goes away.
Obviously, I'm damaged goods, why would he want me now?
And coming back so soon into a depressing melodramatic relationship, well who knows where that could lead me.
I know he wont take me back 5x the sting of another break up, there's just no hope.
Do I want hope?
Shouldn't I just wait around for him to work his s**t out?
How long could it take though?
A week? A Month? The remainder of the YEAR?
Does he ever really care the way I thought he did?
I wish I had a magical crystal ball I could look into and know everything.
I'm strong, even if love doesnt prevail and all that jazz I know that I've fought the grand fight my guns blazing shedding no more tears of weakness.
You don't have to be with me, or even love me like I thought you did but, I will stick by you, friend or more because in my heart I know that it's the right thing to do.
RELATIONSHIT
PriestessNaiomicana Community Member 
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