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I've been using this journal for old memories, but tomorrow I'll be out of the Air Force, so I'm gonna record some highlights of that chapter of my life while they're still relatively fresh. This is for my benefit, but feel free to look up your own entry, Ainsel, Pisarzewski, Dane, and so on.
BMT - I realized, I'm not some highschool kid, I'm an adult and will be held accountable like one... and I'd already made a decision with adult consequences. I met my first drama queen who was willing to let her act carry her into serious consequences, she got kicked out even though if she had accepted help she would have succeeded.
Warrior Week - I realized my body was going numb. I had tears as I crawled through the sand, and when I checked later scabs on my knees, but I could feel no pain. Until I sprained my ankle jogging in place. That I could feel, and actually needed asprin for. And combat boots tied tight enough to effectively become a brace.
Tech school - I hated it. Lackland is definitely Lawful Neutral, but Keesler is Evil. The MTLs are mostly rejected TIs who take out their suck on students as if they're helpless highschool kids. Lots of protocol over common sense.
James - My BF in tech school. He has a girly voice. This let me distinguish him from all the other men in my class, despite the fact that I'm s**t with faces and names. I wonder if I was ever attracted to him, or I just liked his voice, and when he touched me the numb went away. He complained that I didn't move around enough when we cuddled. Once he hurt his eye with the reflection of his own pen laser on my shiny boots. Eventually I learned through him, that someone else's desires aren't a good reason to give up my own.
Nebraska - Kinda flat and boring, except for the people.
Ammie - Tall, assertive, perfect redhead, traits shared by other girls I'd had a crush on before. Fan of MUDs, and a Wiccan. I think the reason I didn't come out to her, is as awesome as she is, she also scares me; she prefers huge guys because she gets violent when provoked and wants someone who can defend himself. She is analytical of people and her personality is often a positive reflection of those around her. She and I had a feedback loop going, there. Haven't seen her since she found a way to finish her time early and keep her benefits. Palace Chase.
Staggs - Tall, skinny, scarecrow. Seemed to run on cigarettes and caffeine, not food. Divorced an underage girl, and got full custody of their kid when she didn't take a lawyer to court. He got kicked out of the Air Force for being depressed after that ostensibly for being late to work several times, including coming in at noon once. She's living in a trailer on her parent's property. He's happily a cop in California. He's one of the guys I came out to here.
Coltrain - At first he seemed this androgynous gnome guy. Then I learned he had a sweetheart back home. On the phone he would close conversations with her with "I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! 4laugh " One time I was close enough to hear her screaming at him not to do this to her from the other side of the phone. While her immaturity may have been a factor in their breakup, I don't for a second believe his stubbornly insisting everything was lovey dovey until the breaking point helped.
His other relationship exploits since include being roommates with Ammie without making a pass at her, insisting our own relationship was platonic when I clung to him like glue hitting on him, and some dates with a college girl who later insisted they had never been a couple to begin with. I'm sure I didn't help him mature in that regard with first hitting on him, then coming out as gay.
(Before I realized I was gay, I'd hit on people, in my own quasi-autistic fashion. Like, I'd act childish and flustered around someone and say "I'm hitting on you!" I might start doing that again after tomorrow. Hey, I might even grow in that plane when I don't have to keep it hidden.)
I'm being kinda cruel here, I shouldn't just focus on his bad side. He's a nice guy, and my best friend around here. He's into allot of games, D&D, M:tG, and so forth, which is an easy frame for me to socialize with someone. He can cook, he's intelligent, has a strong work ethic, and a decent sense of humor. While not the complete empath Ammie was, he does occasionally realize that I don't exist on the same wavelength as other people.
Brian - Ammie's roommate, later Coltrain's. He is quiet. While he and I are not on the same wavelength, neither are we on everyone else's. This is why we can sometimes communicate without other's noticing.
*Brian stares into space*
*Lisa stares at staring into space, reaches behind him*
Lisa:I unplug you now
*Lisa grabs an invisible plug and pulls out of Brian's head*
*Brian falls down*
That Guy - I don't even remember his name. He hung out with Burgess and Patrick and me. He liked Monty Python's flying circus, and Final Fantasy. I was out with him when I got my cat hoodie from Hot Topic. I failed him when he came back to base from flying and needed a friend to go with him to Taco Bell right now. That was the last time I saw him, I heard he was discharged. It's weird, I always felt he was wearing a mask until that night, then when he realized I was in pajamas he put it back on. This crap's why I'm s**t with faces, everyone has the same cordial mask.
Patrick - Likes wrestling. Nice guy with a tough guy persona, I never found much else to him. He is a kind friend. I don't know what happened to him.
Dave - We met in the dorm's cyber cafe; I'd raise my neopets while he leveled his MUD hobbit across the room. We'd talk amicably then, the line that first impressed me to him was "I like Piers Anthony's books. And I don't just mean Xanth." When he realized what that meant, and started listing authors, I was impressed in turn. We were often on the same wavelength, something I had not experienced since leaving my family, so we became friends. So too did Patrick. Unfortunately, Dave was also a jerk who liked to monopolize all my time and make it look like we were screwing around. When I realized this, I wasn't sure I wanted out, because he was at least more consistent than people who weren't playing me. He eventually got discharged for being overweight. Once he had a new set of friends, he essentially dumped me anyways. So I worked up a hatred, he was bad for me, rarg and such, to help me get over being dumped by someone I should have dumped first awhile ago.
Intelligent but selfish, when he was little a counselor said he'd be the next Jack the Ripper. He therefore had a hatred of psychology that may have done him harm in finding people to help him. When I last knew him, he was passively suicidal and his car a bomb. I tried to give him a copy of Piers Anthony's Virtual Mode, but he wouldn't have it. emo Uh, I mean, rarg, hatred, he's no good friend even if we did connect. scream
Damn, it's getting late. Don't want to be to sleepy for my last day of work. I'll continue with more bios tomorrow.
 Spriteless Girl · Fri Aug 17, 2007 @ 04:03am · 0 Comments |
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