Running For You.

• Artist: ICanHazPanda
• Description: This didn't happen of course, but this how it feels. Whenever I get something I want, it gets taken away almost instantly. What, I had him for 5 days until something came up... It sucks.
• Date: 09/25/2011
• Tags: running

Twigs and Burs,
Pierce my skin.
Deeper than flesh,
Cutting down within.

Dashing through trees,
I'm trying to escape.
Pushing the truth away,
For I know this is my fate,

I know you're on the other side!
Waiting for me there!
I will see you one last time,
Before they take me elsewhere.

I hear them behind me,
Yelling for me to halt!
But I only run faster,
This is their fault!

I then see you before me,
Staring with plea.
How could I have misunderstood..
I'll actually never be free.

Yet I fall in your arms,
And hold you tight.
They'll wretch me from your grasp,
But not without a fight.

Here I go again,
Losing everything.
'Cause when anything goes well,
Is when the problems spring.

Comments

[bbyj13]

Wow i really liked your writing! Its similar to a situation a had faced and the way you made the words flow was great! 5/5

[in a pinto forever]

two little things:
1.) I think you meant "wrench."
2.) "staring with plea?"
That said, I like the poem. Try experimenting a little bit more with word choice and line structure/phrasing. Not that your exploits in those two areas so far are lacking: far from it, you're a good writer. But one can never get enough practice.