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One word we envy from birth to death,
One word that is our last dying breath.
The word we live for
and most certainly die for.
The word that leaves us aching when we go to bed,
the word that makes us wish we were dead.
The only word that can take us away to a different place
even as we remain the same.
The word we all want to know,
but never will.
The word we all want to show,
but never know how.
The word we want as our own.
That word is Love.
- by xXxXxbabexXxXx |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 08/13/2010 |
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- Title: Love
- Artist: xXxXxbabexXxXx
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Description:
Another of my friends poem/lyrics. she would like you to rate it and leave comments on how to perfect it.
thanks
DesiLee - Date: 08/13/2010
- Tags: love
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Comments (1 Comments)
- LikesCake - 08/13/2010
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Your friend did a good job thus far, looking at all the different ways that love affects people: agony, bliss, confusion, indigination, etc. The antagonistic relationships between all of the things are accurate (in my personal opinion, at least). It's nicely done, but doesn't exactly have a very strong lasting impression; it could be made more interesting by adding more imagery and descriptive language.
Your friend has made a good start, root her on! - Report As Spam
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