• With each night I cannot sleep I think of you
    My mother told me that you were not doing well
    I would cry just thinking of you
    I was in pain
    In pain
    In pain
    In pain
    I did not like talking about it at all
    It bothered me so
    Hurting my heart
    That pain lingered for years
    Stayed within me
    Wounding me
    "Why did you leave me?"
    "Why did you leave my mother?"
    I can answer that myself
    You left because you were weak
    I understand that you have had that same experience
    I thought to myself that you were not smart enough to not do what he did
    Your father
    You made a mistake
    I understand
    We all make mistakes
    We hurt each other
    We forgive
    I cannot hold a grudge
    It is not in me
    I can open my heart once more
    But remember this…
    I will not leave for you
    I will stay right here
    My real father is the one who I will stay with
    I will only come to visit
    Not stay
    It feels awkward now knowing that someone who has left me for fifteen years has come back
    I knew that it would happen
    I cannot forget about you completely
    Not in me
    You are in my mind
    Whenever I look at myself in the mirror I see you in a way
    My hair
    My face
    My eyes
    I look like you
    You were the one that named me
    I cry
    I want to hide my face forever when I think of you
    The mirror image
    My eyes play nasty tricks on me
    I see your name carved out in my mirror
    I have the urge to punch it
    I think of my mother
    You left this wonderful woman
    You broke her off
    Why?
    I ask myself as I pick up the little ornament that your mother gave me
    The two hands
    Touching each other
    Just holding it makes me weep
    I hide it away
    It is too hard for me to take a long look at it
    You cannot wipe away my tears, as they have stained my cheeks for fifteen years
    The scars
    You left behind
    It hurts
    "Why did you leave me?"
    "Why did you leave me?"
    "Why did you leave me?"
    You should have been raised with a figure similar to my father
    The one who took me
    Caring for me
    if you were raised by this similar figure you would not have left me
    Taught me right from wrong
    He inspires me to become a great parent
    As I promise I not make the same mistake
    I promise
    I promise
    I promise
    I will not be a failure
    I am so scared
    I do not want someone to leave me
    I would not be able to handle it
    I promise that I will not fail
    I have been taught to be faithful
    That way I will always remain
    I will never leave my family
    I will never fade away
    Like the pictures my mom showed me
    Pictures of you with me
    They make me cry
    I want to burn them with my lighter
    Throw away the ashes that remain
    I cannot see them
    It hurts
    It hurts
    It hurts
    I have also been told to forgive and forget
    As well as control my temper
    I feel that I have changed
    All thanks to my father
    My real father
    He told me that it is ok to visit you
    He knows
    He knows better than you
    I need to know
    I have to
    I will not be able to live with myself if I do not
    I am curious
    By nature
    I need to know who you are
    I must know
    I want to see my other side
    Just thinking of this makes me cry
    I have also learned to keep it together
    I bite my tongue and forget
    Forget
    Forget
    Forget…
    That word haunts me
    It will always haunt me
    When I associate it with you
    I cannot get you out of my head
    I cannot forget
    I have not been for fifteen years
    I am used to it
    Hurting myself
    Fifteen years
    Fifteen years
    Fifteen years