• The public persecution wasn’t bad
    No,
    It was the thought of losing you in the fashion I did,
    That was damning.
    No one seemed to understand,
    But how could they?
    They didn’t hear the battle lines being drawn with the swears, the lies, the tears…
    All of my fear--confirmed.
    Forgiveness, I know this word, but why does it seem so foreign.

    Everything that I wanted has shifted.
    Every promise I have made has been broken.
    There is nothing I could do to justify the way I know I made you feel.
    I will not deny that in all of my life,
    You were the first thing that I thought was real.
    Maybe that is why I am so wounded.
    So damaged--so riddled and torn up in this rage.

    I wonder why everything changes.
    Sometimes I don’t feel real,
    Like I am watching some one else life in first person,
    But I am powerless to stop it.
    Who knew that love could cause such devastation?
    I want to destroy you.
    I want to save you.
    I want to drink myself to death, but what is the use?
    It would just be a waste…
    Another loss in the midst of so many.

    There is a moment that comes,
    When you have to answer for everything you have done.
    I can stand the judgment of watchful eyes,
    But it you and me that are living,
    This Good bye.