• I am not myself
    Just a shell
    I chose to be this way
    Someone other than my normal
    I took the knife
    I took his life
    And now I wish I had taken mine
    All because of five little words
    “I don’t love you anymore”
    All because of seven more words
    “I don’t want to see you anymore”
    All because of three more words
    “I hate you”
    I don’t know why I did it
    He’d been mine
    Mine alone for six years
    He was just about to pop the question
    And then it all fell
    Fell through the floor
    Fell to Hell
    And now I take the blade
    And I cut my wrists
    And now I plan my end
    On the railroad tracks
    But my plan attacks
    And backfires
    And I’m still here.
    So I take it to the bridge
    But I am caught by the raft
    So I sigh
    And I cry
    And wish I could just die
    Because the guilt is overwhelming
    And I wish they would just find me
    I’d finally get my wish of dying
    I’d be on Death Row
    And I cry alone
    Warm and red down my arms
    It pools on the floor
    And then I cry some more
    And I throw the blade down
    And then I wake up
    And realize it was just a nightmare
    And I realize
    That he never loved me
    He just loved to use me
    So then I think about the
    Monster I could become
    And then I pick up the phone
    And call him to come
    And then I say
    “You never loved me”
    “You only used me”
    “So now we’re through.”