• I was laughing with you
    a few hours ago
    as I helped you.

    The vacuum kept sucking things up
    bags
    bottles
    crayons
    and making funny noises.

    We bagged up your papers
    pills
    artwork
    books
    pieces of you that couldn't be left behind.

    We laughed as we did it.
    It was either laugh or cry
    and we couldn't stand to cry.

    I hugged you as you went out the door.
    It couldn't be helped.
    Neither of us had any say
    and those who could have helped you stay wouldn't.

    So you left.

    I have a confession.
    I haven't taken my pill yet tonight.
    My sleeping pill.
    I guess
    I feel like that
    as long as it's today
    as long as there isn't any sleep between me
    and the last time I saw you
    there's still some of you here
    and I'm
    not
    quite
    yet


    Alone.