Enchained

• Artist: On Frail Wings Of Vanity
• Description: This poem actually DOES have a story behind it. However, its about my friend. I do not write poems about my own life because well. . . I find it a bit too perfect.
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags: enchained heartbreak

Wasn't it you who said I didn't belong?
In a world so deep; yet so shallow
I always remembered to forget,
that you would try to counter my words
With something so harsh, that burned to the touch
I always felt whole, but never enough
Was I too empty?
Or was it just you,
draining the life from me like you always do
I stumble and stagger but never fall down,
just trying to stay upright
But who's to blame when I fall down?
Thus the melancholy ignites
Now is the time I hold my hand,
because I never had a hand to hold
Back in shelter, in safety again
Set in new times but enchained in the old
Now that the lights flicker every time I weep
I know that your soul's asleep
Those times that I wish I could solve my problems
with a flick of my wrist,
and a quick, sturdy whish
My troubles now are tucked away
In a fire there they lay. . .

Comments

[Canned Toast]

I found this poem hard to follow and the message was unclear. I see good use of words within individual lines, but reading from line to line can be like one giant run-on sentence (an example of this is lines 3-6)
Some of your ideas don't connect well. Why all of a sudden is there a line about someone other than the speaker's soul? It didn't make sense with the rest of the poem.

[Acid Dipped Daisies]

Very good. I enjoyed it ^^