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She sat looking at the picture of her father. He looked at the way he smiled, the way he was holding her hand, the look in her own eyes of happiness. She sighed as she put the picture face down on her dresser, where it had once sat for years. She remembered when he loved her. She remembered when he held her close when she’d cry and tell her, “Daddy loves you.” The words echoed in her head and haunted her. She covered her ears as she put her head between her knees and cried. Why did he have to change? Why did he have to abandon her? A thousand thoughts raced through her head.
Crash. She looked up to the entrance to her room. The door was off the hinges and there he stood in the hallway. Sheer anger and hatred washed over her.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? Don't you dare walk away from me when I'm talking to you" He bellowed at her, ignoring the tears streaming down her face.
But her anger held, the tears stopped, and she stood up, "I'm not doing this anymore! You're done abusing me! No one deserves to be talked to the way you do."
"I'm your father. I can do whatever I want!" He stepped towards her, fists clenched. It was then that her mother came in the room.
"Please stop this!" Her mother stood up and yelled back at her father.
"You guys think I'm so ******** abusive? I'll show you ******** abusive!" He screamed now walking towards her mother.
She ran between her mother and father, "NO! This is my fight! You're mad at me!" the tears began running down her cheeks again, "I don't care what you do to me but you will not touch my mother! She's a good person, god damn it!"
Rage washed over him and he pushed her out of his way and walked towards his bedroom. As they sighed with relief, he turned around, "I'm ashamed I'm your father! You're pathetic and worthless, Lily Anne!" The words cut through her, but she was still too angry to care, "You're a disappointment to me." Then he stormed out of the house. Her mother went away, and didn't say another word to her the rest of the day.
His words began to sting like a knife to the heart. Her mind was swimming with thoughts and began to drown. Anger filled her veins. She still had so much to say. "I hate you. You don't love me, only my sister. That's all you've ever cared about. I'll never be good enough for you, so why don't you just forget my name, you b*****d. I ******** hate you." She sank down to the floor. The words he had sad flooded her mind.
The worst always was when he didn't curse... she knew that when he wasn't cursing, he had thought about what he said. It wasn't just a fit of rage, it was carefully planned to break her. Yeah she wasn't perfect, she was lazy, but she was not a bad person. However, in his eyes, she'd never be anything. She knew that. He didn't love her.
She picked up the picture of the two of them again. A wave of depression crashed over her consuming her every thought. She wanted to kill herself. Then maybe he'd love her. Then maybe he'd see how wrong he was. Maybe he would even miss her. He'd feel the hurt she felt every time she looked at the picture and saw the father she once had. But she could never do that. She couldn't kill herself, even if she really wanted to. Too many people would be hurt for her to be a coward and run away from her problems like that.
She held the picture tight to her chest as tears dripped down over her. Then the anger arose again. That b*****d! She threw the picture at the wall, glass shatter all over the floor. She took everything that reminded her of him and smashed it, and punched the walls. Her fist now covered in blood and bits of drywall; she looked in the mirror. She looked herself in the eyes, seeing his face in her.
"You're not daddy's little girl, you b***h!" She screamed at herself and punched the mirror. She again sank to the floor and cried. She would never again be daddy's little girl.
- by Damonuim De Ignis |
- Non Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/31/2011 |
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- Title: Daddy's Little Girl
- Artist: Damonuim De Ignis
- Description: Just a little something from my past.
- Date: 07/31/2011
- Tags: daddyslittlegirl
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