• "I am not happy because there is simply no reason to be happy
    Just sometimes I can get glad, but its rare ..."
    - RIP Steffane Michele

    ~It snowed for the first time this year. New York got more then a foot. I certainly was happy, because I love snow. Despite the annoying shoveling my way to the car, and freezing fingers I made it to my work. I work full 12 hours and I don't complain. It was end of the day when I got a text message from my ex-fiance. It was quite a surprise considering we had a huge fight week after we broke up because I found out she started dating again so fast.
    ~Meeting her was a whole different story. We met online in game and she was a friend for a month, and she was there when I broke with my ex back then. She comforted me when I was hurt and I realized I was falling for her even since, I didn't hesitate long and told her shortly. She said she always liked me more then a friend and we started our little love on August of this year. Long distance relationship when you never even seen a person in person. You say sadistic, stupid, and immature? I would agree now but not back then. Back then it was something I never had, never had that strong of it for anyone. Believe it or not it was a real love over internet, with all its "lols" and "<3". We were together for two months now and yeah like every couple we had fights but would always go back with each other. So we decided its time to see each other and Thanksgiving was a perfect time to do so. I booked the ticket and started packing.
    ~We did a lot of planing, she talked her parents into letting me stay in their house, in her room for a week. I was shocked but it was a plus for me. Don't get me wrong I wasn't going there for sex. I got there and trip was long, but it was proved worth it once I finally saw her waiting for me on train station. We spent a week together, her family was amazing, I was having a blast. And yes before you will ask, we did have sex, not to mention she was a virgin. Unfortunately we had a huge fight about it and I do regret it to this date and I will take it to my grave. She went away from me saying I must leave. I was devastated and I had no way of leaving because tickets were sold out. I was stuck in the middle of hell as I imagine because she did tell her parents about everything that happened. Surprisingly I wasn't dead and I did spoke with her parents, explaining that I am serious about this. They understood and I had their support. When she was back I got on my knees and begged her to give me a chance and she did, after that I slided a ring on her finger and told her to tell me what she thinks. She took her time and told me before I had to leave. I was ecstatic going back home knowing I am engaged. When I got home she changed drastically, avoiding me at all costs, ignoring my requests to explain whats going on. Four days later she ended it claiming I am making big deals out of everthing. She said she would not date anyone, she lied.
    ~We had an unpleasant talk entire evening tonight, I had to close the store on my own, tired, devastated, I stepped outside and pulled out a pack, just glad I had a cigarette ...

    To be continued