• Yesterday I got to go to a thereipist in Warrensburg. She asks if I think I can keep myself safe. I tell her I don't know. She asks a lot of other questions too. I answered I don't know to most of them, others I didn't answer at all. So after beong there for 3 hours she sends me down to the Glensfalls E.R. Or as I like to call it the Spyche Ward. Which it was, they took my coat, I walked through a metal ..or, and went down the hall to a room. The T.V. in the room was inside a plexyglass box. The curtains in there were on the ouside of the window. So yeah I guess it was the Spyche Ward. I waited, for I don't know how long, before someone came in. I can't remember who came in first. There was about 4 or 5 different people that came in. The last one to come in sent me home. I could'nt believe (and still can't) that they sent me home. On my way out all I was thinking is I wish I had a bottle of sleeping pills. I thought they were suppossed to help people. Not let them further their suffering. I got in the car. Got buckled. We came to a stop light. I thought of jumping out and running. We came to several stop lights. I thought of runnung at all of them. We stopped at a gas station. I thought of running down the road away from everyone. I didn't. I just sat there thinking. It's not worth it, things are NEVER gonna get better. I'm stuck here. And I'll never get out. After the gas station, we went to Wal*Mart. I walked in. No words. I kept thinking, they have sleeping pills here, bottles of them! I'll just take a bottle or two, and go hide somewhere, and take as many as I can before I finally die. I didn't. I just stood there like a staute. Bearly moving and not talking. Silent. What's the point of talking? No one listens anyways. The people at the Hospitol didn't. My mom didn't. So why should I talk? Why don't I kill my-self? I keep hanging on, I just wanna let go. It's not that I don't want help. No one will listen...If things are never gonna change. If people are never gonna change. Then I think I should've done what was thinking. I should've killed myself...