• 1.Ignorance is bliss, thats why school is so frustrating.
    2.Don't be scared of an animal that bites you, be scared of an animal biting you.
    3.Skeptisism is critisism of things that don't exist yet.
    4.Your income is what you get from an outcome.
    5.How do you abbreviate a contraction?
    6.Procrastination is thinking of work to do before you do your work.
    7.Don't just be driven to do something, carpool.
    8.How does "sort" fit in with "sort of"
    9.Scams arent bad until you've invested.
    10.If you don't believe in fueling the war, skip taxes.
    11.Viagra makes life harder.
    12.If only time can tell buy a fortune cookie.
    13.Write your will out to graverobbers.
    14.If money can't buy happiness why is poverty so depressing?
    15.War crimes are illegal in international waters.
    16.If we are what we eat, then we're all cannibals.
    17.Hold open-house parties at other people's homes.
    18.Finding a needle ina haystack is just busy work.
    19.In order to make an omelete you have to break a few eggs, so just order a few eggs and break them yourself.
    20.If a box is ticking, return to sender.
    21.Watching a clock will make it take longer.
    22.Crank call the wrong numbers.
    23.Numb3rs m4k3 gr347 13773rs.
    24.I've seen more bulls than china shops, and I wonder why.
    25.What are hours on the end of?
    26.Tear the Liberty Bell a new one.
    27.Fasting is a Divine Anerexia.
    28.Mutes should go to classes on public speaking.
    29.Whats 2nd person?
    30.What does a sentence run on?
    31.If you have to do something first in order to expect your pet to do it, then don't spay or neuder your pets.
    32.What does the wind shield you from?
    33.I've never seen a chicken cross the road.
    34.Can you be illegally blind?
    35.Why do people need monocles?
    36.And why not monoculars?
    37.What's the contraction for "who are"?
    38.How do you spell the click in the Ethiopian Language?
    39.Why did we skip the E in the grading system?
    40.If diamonds are a girl's best friend and dogs are man's best friend, what about hermanphrodytes?
    41.Don't trust scientist, they know to much.
    42.Friends are strangers you've already met.
    43.Yell "safety" randomly.
    44.There's nothing to gain by winning the quiet game.
    45.What's the plural for mongoose?
    46.Ninja's are extinct.
    47."Psych" is the longest vowelless word.
    48.666 isn't the devil's phone number. It's sixhundred and three-score six.
    49.It's impossible to survive a nuke, don't try.
    50.Glasses are your head's window pane.
    51.What's the PC way to cuss someone out?
    52.Whether or not is matters is irrelevant.
    53.Don't fight fire with fire.
    54.There aren't stupid questions, just stupid answers.
    55.Don't forget what you're fighting for, you might fight the wrong team.
    56.Never trust a siren, it might be a drill.
    57. 99 Bottles of Beer belong in the fridge.
    58.You're only as fast as whatevers in front of you.
    59.McDonald's isn't the reason you're fat.
    60.Yo Mama jokes tend to poke fun at obesity and adult illiteracy.
    61.What do gigas bite?
    62.Q-tips don't make good cue sticks.
    63.What's so important about Stonehenge.
    64.Crack-up and crack-down have nothing in common.
    65.If you're worried about getting an X-ray, just get an autopsy.
    66.There is a "me" in "team".
    67.What does teen spirit smell like?
    68.How does "cut" fit in with "cut it down"?
    69.The Bible garuntees that nerds will become successful.
    70.Don't waste your time learning stats, try to change them.
    71.If you want the line you're in to be shorter, leave it.
    72.Hydrogen is worth its weight in gold.
    73.Security blankets provide little protection.
    74.Radiation doesn't give you superpowers.
    75.Don't think about running water, just think about running.
    76. Landmarks are useless if you buy a map.