- About noon on a saturday in summer i was over at my cousins house when everything felt very uncomfortable. As my cousin walked outside i suddenly got a chill from the area behind me. At the time i was six so i didnt really understand the phrase " curiosity killed the cat". But soon i was going to. As i turned i saw a door a white door at the end of the hall that was never there before be there. I slowly walked down the hall with a shiver through my back every step i took. As i slowly opened the door my fear rose. I looked out of one window on one side with a mirror on the other wall. As i walked in the room i started to stare out the window. As i looked i noticed a person that i am still not sure of what sex in a black coat and cowboy hat over there face. As i stared there was a sudden CRASH!!!!. behind me i turned and the mirror was broken but still on the wall. As i ran out of the room i didnt scream i just ran. As i got my cousin to show him the door was gone. As i asked if anyone was out there they all answered. No.
- by uzumaki913 |
- Non Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/15/2008 |
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- Title: the room
- Artist: uzumaki913
- Description: this happened to me wheen i was six at my cousins house and i never understood what it was
- Date: 08/15/2008
- Tags: fearshiverghostfrightenscaryscarecreepy
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Comments (7 Comments)
- i am sad mami - 09/12/2010
- Better grammar could be possible. It's late at night and after reading the comments, I'm absolutely terrified of the concepts of reading this. I read the last sentence, and seems good. I'll give it a 4/5 because of grammar. And even though I'm too scared to read it (^^) I have a feeling it's good.
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- blaze_MiKO - 11/08/2009
- If I had that kind of experience at the age of six I might have wet my paints. XD All joking aside, that was creepy but you have a talent for writing.
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- ii_phatboy - 03/24/2009
- it sounds like a book or a dream but that... that is the worlds coolest life experience. nothing ever bad has happend to me except splitting my head and leg open XD. 4
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- zox-emo-roxas-xoz - 12/23/2008
- That wouldn't have scared me much at six, I loved monsters and black magic at the time. That would have been pretty cool, and you saw a great thing (if, of course, you're telling the truth).
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- Hairball - Parfait - 12/13/2008
- this is nice, you should read "Under the dust of forest" is by me :3
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- selket16 - 12/02/2008
- you could use some polishing with the wording, too much repetition and unnecessary words. More punctuation; commas are your friend. You're doing a lot of run on sentences, which could work considering you were six and excited, but you need more work to get it to work. Otherwise not a bad concept. 3
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- Ty Gwynnia - 08/17/2008
- Interesting, wish something like that happened to me.
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