• A few more seconds, and an emergency broadcast just might have been sent all over the world about a mysterious explosion in the middle of Egypt that had stretched for miles. Millions would have been in panic, the Internet chat-rooms swarmed, five couuntries on High Alert, Ma'at would have been disturbed!

    But luckily, once again, our great hero, the mighty falcon-god Horus swooped in to save the day and all of humanity!

    By holding Anubis and Bast apart from each other as best as his arms could manage.

    "I thought I smelled something fishy when I was told about this trip," sneered Bast, "Turns out it wasn't fish. IT WAS WET DOG."

    "Look who's talking!" retorted Anubis, "At least I can wet without having a massive emotional melt-down, Kitty-girl!"

    "At least I'm not a five-thousand year-old who still plays with dolls!"

    "They're called shabti, and they're extremely useful and collectible, and you know it, Bastet!"

    "Quiet!" yelled Horus.

    The Jackal-God and the Cat-Goddess slowly responded, and took a few steps away from each other. This however, did not stop them from arching their backs in an inhuman manner and producing menacing growls and hisses.

    "Oh, just stop it, you two!" snapped Horus, and the two immediately straightened their spines. "Do you want to know why I invited you both? So you could both get over this stupid rivalry you've had since kindergarten!"

    "... She started it." muttered Anubis. He turned his back to the girl, as if the mere sight of her was just too ridiculous to behold.

    "I started it?" said Bast, and took a step toward him before Horus intervened, "You replaced my litter with ground-up Alka-Seltzer tablets!

    Anubis whirled around. "You told the teacher that I ate your homework!"

    "Well you did!" yelled Bast, like she couldn't believe this bull.

    "I did not!"

    "Did too!"

    "Did not!"

    "Did too!"

    "Ummm, no, he didn't, Bast..." said Sobek sheepishly. Everyone stared at him. "What? I was hungry!"

    The poor crocodile-God turned his back, feeling rejected.

    "... Oh, it's alright Sobek. It doesn't matter now." said Bast. She gently pat his back reassuringly, and smiled.

    Sobek sniffed, "Jee, thanks Bastet."

    Anubis was shocked, and it took him a moment to learn how to work his mouth again. "So, when you think I do it, you hold a grudge, but when Sobek does it, everything's just perfectly fine? See what I mean, Horus?" He turned desperately to his cousin. "She's awful!"

    Horus just had his arms crossed, with his face rested in one palm. "The only thing I'm seeing," he said, "Is two five-thousand year old Gods acting like five-year old's! Can't we just have one fun trip, guys? One... trip..."

    Horus stared at them with intense, pleading eyes that couldn't help but make Bast and Anubis feel awkward.

    "One trip... one excellent vacation... with my best buds... no fighting... just happiness..."

    It was both pathetic and commanding at the same time, the kind of stare that makes you'd feel like a real punk if you didn't give into the starer's requests. Numbing and searing. It was a well-known fact that Horus has an almost scary talent for staring contests, which only made it even more uncomfortable, and Anubis attempted to shield his eyes.

    "That's not going to work on me, Horus!" said Anubis.

    The Stare.

    "You might as well blink," said Bast, pretending to sound indifferent, "It'd be a shame if you got dust in your eyes over something that isn't going to happen."

    The Stare.

    "Horus..." said Anubis.

    The Stare.

    "Please..." said Bast.

    The Stare.

    "But..." they pleaded.

    The Stare sent waves from Horus's multicolored eyes that burned into their very souls.

    "... GAH!" they both cried, "Fine! FINE!"

    "Just- stop with the eyes..." Bast covered her face, as if it hurt.

    "YES!" Horus broke his mesmerizing gaze, and did a fist-pump. "Sobek, my man, we are going to New York, New York!"

    "WOO!" cheered Sobek.

    They pounded fists.

    "Alright, already!" snapped Anubis, who was in no better mood about this whole ordeal. "Can we just hurry up and get this over with?"

    "Yeah, sure." replied Horus, suddenly sounding very bored.

    "Whatever." Sobek stuck his tongue out.

    "Good!" said Anubis, feeling a small sense of satifaction.

    "So," began Bast, "Who's going to summon the boat?"

    Horus smiled and went, "Hmmmm?" as if he hadn't heard her.

    "The boat..." repeated Bast, now confused, "The boat we need to travel fast to New York."

    "Ohhhh, that kind of boat! Isn't that funny, Sobek? Bastet thought we were going to take a magic boat!"

    Horus laughed hysterically.

    "HAHAHA! HA!" Sobek cracked up, laughing along with his comrade, before quieting and blinking a few times. "... Aren't we?" he asked, now equally confused.

    LATER.-

    The gang stood in the bustling lobby of the Cairo Airport.

    "This vacation!" declared Horus, "Is going to be one-hundred percent modern!"

    He turned to his friends as if expecting them to cheer and compliment his brilliant traveling skills.

    Anubis just stared back at his cousin sadly, waiting for him to laugh and say that it was all just a cruel joke. Bast's gaze also suggested her wish for this to be a joke, but she had her arms crossed and her head bent low with her eyes looking up at him in an accusing way, the fluent way of saying, 'You have got to be kidding me' in body language. Sobek just stared back blankly, munching on a fish skeleton, waiting for something to happen.

    "... Well then! No objections? Fine! Everyone got their bags?" Horus clapped his hands together.

    "Here..." the others replied without enthusiasm, showing their packed backpacks.

    "Fantastic! Let's go!" Horus turned on a heel and marched towards luggage check-out, with the others following behind hesitantly.

    As anyone who's ever been to an airport knows, it usually takes forever to check through all the bags. Anubis was talking to a flight attendant, and Bastet entertained herself by reading over the rules of air travel in a small pamphlet.

    "No food from off the plane, no scissors, no guns," she read out loud, "No hand sanitizer, no matches, all animals in the passenger area..." Bast twitched at this.

    Oh, the irony, she thought.

    Horus was having a talk with Sobek.

    "I'm sorry So'," he said, "But I really think they might consider that fish bone to be a weapon."

    "That's so stupid!" Sobek complained, "This is my good luck charm, you know that man! How is it a weapon?"

    Bast called over, "I'm pretty sure if they think special goop meant to kill germs and stop Sekhmet's cursed plagues is dangerous, a pointy fish bone is definitely on the Weapons of Mass Destruction List."

    Sobek groaned. "But-" he began.

    "HORUS, SOBEK, BAST, ANUBIS? IS THAT YOU? EEEEEE!" yelled a rather shrill voice from the other side of the airport.

    Horus twitched. "Oh no..." he muttered.

    A man who appeared to be about eighteen ran over at a speed not meant for indoors, ignoring the stares from people all around the large room. His hair was the color of blood; in fake, red seemed to be a bit of a fetish judging from his clothing, which was entirely composed of either that shade, or a dark midnight black, with heavy metal combat boots, and seemed to be of the goth/punk persuasion.

    "Well look who's here..." said Anubis, trying to be pleasant.

    "Set..." Horus growled, not bothering to hide his animosity.

    Set came to a screeching halt, then gave a wide, toothy grin that would make the Joker jealous.

    "Oh my!" he clapped his hands, in a pleased manner. "What have we got here? You four have finally realized the magic of traveling? That's so cool!"

    A short boy suddenly walked up next to Set, struggling under the heavy load of red suitcases. Set glanced at him, then waved his hand to the tiny person.

    "Find a cart already, Mitchell! We're burning daylight!"

    Mitchell was a demon servant of Set, enough said on that subject. He waddled off to looks for a cart.

    "So where you going?" Set turned his attention back to the younger gods, "Somewhere small for first-time vacationers, hm? Like Hawaii? Oh, I can't tell you how many times I've been to Hawaii! It's like a second home to me! But I hate sandals. I'm liking these new boot-things much better than sandals."

    "Actually," remarked Bast, "We were heading to New York."

    Horus shot her a look that screamed, Why the hell did you just tell him that?

    "New York? Ohhhhhh, the City That Never Sleeps! Did you know it's called that because the place is always busy with traffic and lights and stuff, even at night?" explained Set, tilting his head questioningly, and munching on an apple he had apparently pulled out of nowhere.

    "Of course we did!" snapped Horus.

    Anubis rolled his eyes.

    "Fantastic!" cheered Set, "Well, just in case you happen to-" he screamed at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason, attracting even more undesirable attention. "SPIDER! DON'T WORRY SOBEK! I'LL SAVE YOU FROM ANUBIS'S COLD GRIP OF DEATH!"

    "What?" said Sobek and Anubis.

    Set sprang and tackled Sobek, frantically beating him over the head with the apple. Violently.

    "DIE, SPIDER, DIE! YOU WILL NOT TAKE HIM TODAY!" Set yelled.

    "AHHHH, STOP! HELP ME!"

    "I AM HELPING YOU! I WILL- wait." Set was instantly calm, and carefully plucked a loose piece of fuzz out of Sobek's hair. "Ohhh! It was just a little fuzzy! SILLY ME! TEE HEE!" Set grinned again.

    He got off of Sobek and dusted himself off, while Sobek lay there twitching, trying to get over the fact that that was the second time he had been attacked in one whole day.

    "For a second there I thought that a Black Widow spider was about to inject highly poisonous venom into you precious little skull," commented Set cheerfully, "Wow, that would NOT have been neat at all!"

    Anubis, Horus, and Bast just stared at Set for a while, then shook their heads sadly.

    You see, thousands and thousands of years ago, when Horus had defeated Set for murdering Osiris, it was agreed that Set would be forgiven so long as he spent eighty-something years living in the desert as sort of a godly "time-out." After the long eighty-something years, he was welcomed back among the Egyptian Pantheon.

    But Set had come back a changed God. And not for the better, changed as in this. Before the banishment, Set had a calm, mellow guy who could always quietly disappear into the shadows when needed and plot. A typical loveable villain. And don't be wrong, he was still like that. Most of the time. But now those calm moments were mixed in with bizarre behaviors involving shrill, loud talking, insane grinning, laughing, and most other signs of insanity.

    Thoth diagnosed that it may have had something to do with over-exposure to the desert heat.

    "Well then," Set said calmly, with a slight smile. He was back in the cool villain mood. "It was fantastic talking to all of you kids, and I'm so glad you're finally getting out. Maybe we'll run into each sometime..." He turned around and started walking away, with a "Chow" and a casual wave of the hand.

    "... I don't like him." said Horus.

    "What else is new?" said Bast, "Come on. We'll miss our plane."

    Working together, the three of them dragged the still-traumatized Sobek off to the flight to New York.