-
The bell rings and the whole student body walks out of their homeroom classes. I walk with the popular group. My name is Emily and i go to Piers High School. I walk pass the art room and see a cute boy but if I ever said that to my friends they'll laugh. See the only people I can date are the popular boys like Kyle who I'm dating now, but I'm not in love with him. "Babe, how was your day today?" Kyle said. "It was okay, I just want to go home." I said. "Well i can walk you home if you want.' he replies. "It's okay I'll go by myself." I said to him. "good cause Lily wants to get a bite to eat." he says to me. "Sure, go on." I said when he gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye. It did kind of bother me because Lily was my friend why would he go get something to eat with her. I walk home after school and stop at the park and sit at the bench. i look around and see that cute boy that was in the art room. I walk over to him and look at what he's drawing. "Nice painting." I said to him. "Thanks." he said turning towards me with his hazel eyes shining in the sun. "Make a pose, i'll paint a picture for you." he said putting a new canvas out. I face the sun with my fist under my chin. Time went fast and it was night time. "Are you done yet?" I said to him but he was gone. He left the painting there with a rose my favorite flower. The picture was pretty and i decided to hang it on my wall. ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................To Be Continued.........................................................................................
heart heart
- by cookiegurl15 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 01/16/2011 |
- Skip
- Title: CANVAS
- Artist: cookiegurl15
- Description: um heres the first part free to write comments and i write the next part!!!
- Date: 01/16/2011
- Tags: canvas
- Report Post
Comments (3 Comments)
- cookiegurl15 - 02/07/2011
-
I know I have some errors but i just wrote it don't I don't really care if I made mistake, in my journal I didn't make any mistakes. But thanks anyways for the comment but it's just a story not a big time book
- Report As Spam
- Weary_Highelf - 01/31/2011
- There are many errors in capitalization, sentance structure, paragraph structure and pacing. The story is un-imaginative and your character interatcion is boring, unnatural and explained. Why would this boy who would recognise the girl as a popular student be so up-front and willing to draw and paint her picture. Also, the rose is not only cliche but where did he get it? Did he just so happen to have a rose on him? This is a maximum 2/5
- Report As Spam
- Larcka - 01/17/2011
- wooooooow
- Report As Spam