• **flashback**

    I felt the warm rush of blood come from my veins once I left the blade, the endorphins came to life and for a moment I was in bliss, the pain subsided. I lifted the blade again watching the dark red drops soak into the carpet, it would come soon. Sweet silence, the darkness that I longed to be consumed by, the door opens and a hand forces the knife out and a hand meets my face. The stairs come sooner then I expected and my back started to burn. I let out a scream as his hands came to me.

    **end of flashback**

    Alice jolted awake in her dorm. She looked around her roommate was still fast asleep, she ran a hand through her hair. “Damn dream.” She muttered softly to herself and looked at the clock. 4 in the morning classes don’t start for another 4 and half hours, she wasn’t planning to wake up until 6. She let out a long sigh and fell back against her bed and looked up at the ceiling, her hand followed the long scar, the just reminded her of the failed night.

    She sighed again and grabbed her music, putting the ear buds in she put on a jacket and let the music start to play. She was soon outside; the cool morning air woke her up more. She yawned and stretched up towards the sky, her eyes falling to the full moon that was slowly setting.

    No one else was awake at this time, animals still scurried around the school grounds looking for some scraps from the kids lunches and dinners. Alice walked over to a bench and sat down, brings her knees to her chest she rested her head against them. She was glad to be away from the house, but she still didn’t want to be here of all places. A boarding school she mind as well be sent back to ridicule high. She hated being social, if she ever said one thing about her home life they only felt pity for her. She yawned and browsed through her music stopping at a song she loves. The Offspring- Fix You.

    She heard the sound of a car pull up, she looked over to barely see a figure, a new student she could only guess. They would have to wait for the building to open up in the morning to get it, Alice knew this, but she didn’t care. She enjoyed the thought of being alone. Alice brought her gaze back to the ground. She closed her eyes and listened to the music, wishing the song would happen to her. She sighed and got up grabbing her keys, she had two of them. She put on in the doors that lead inside, it opened. So that means she could be out after bedtime. She got to her dorm and fell onto her bed hoping to get at least another hour of sleep.

    The blare of her alarm mixed her roommates shouts managed to wake Alice up in the morning. She groaned and got up, walking to the bathroom while still asleep she took a quick shower and changed into some clothes for the day. She yawned and walked out of the dorm heading to her first class. English with Mr. Hightower. She walked in and sat down at a desk in the far corner. She was just hoping she could stay awake for it. She didn’t get to good of sleep last night. She sighed and idly doodled in her notebook. The pictures were mainly long and heavily designed tribal patterns that slowly made there way into roses and others plants. She looked up at the sound of another student entering. Well more students. They were coming in pairs for the most part. Talking and laughing with each other. She envied them somehow.

    Then the boy that would change her life walked in. Curly black hair and dark grey eyes that somehow pulled her in. He was alone, dressed in a white button up shirt, a black vest, a tie, and black dress pants. He almost looked like a teacher. He looked around the room and took the empty seat next to Alice. She covered her arms with her hoodie and let red hair fall into front of her face. She didn’t like talking to others. But this boy didn’t do anything, instead he let out a quite and rough chuckle. It was pulling her in. She shook her head. Get a hold of yourself girl. She told herself and looked down at her notebook.

    She was only pulled off her work as the teacher called out her name. She meekly stuck up her hand. “Here.” She managed out in a quiet voice. She didn’t want to be noticed. She sighed and put her head on the desk hearing whispers and seeing people look back at her. She heard the boy next to her sigh.

    “My you are a dramatic little thing.” He said with a rough voice, but it was somehow soothing to her. She looked at him through her hair. Why would he care? He flashed a faked smile. “What I am just saying the truth. So what if some people are talking about you.”

    Alice chewed on her lip. “Leave me alone.” She said quietly. The boy shrugged and remained silent for the rest of the hour. Alice made her way outside for a small breath of fresh air between her classes. She saw the boy from English smoking a cigarette alone the tree line. She got a good look at him. He was well built, but he seemed to give off that trouble persona. Something she didn’t really like in a person. She sighed and started to walk back towards the door. She grabbed the handle and was pushed down by a larger boy. She could only guess he was a jock. He just glanced over at her and chuckled.

    “Good one Adam, way to sweep her off her feet.” One of them joked. Alice narrowed her eyes on them. The one who pushed her, Adam, walked over to her. Smiling. She backed into the wall. That smile was one she knew to well. He put a hand next to her head.

    “Why are you so scared, I’m not going to hurt you.” He told her. The voice sounded sincere. But it only sounded like it. That doesn’t mean it was. He titled his head. “Honestly I would like to say sorry for pushing you down.” Alice nodded.

    “Apology accepted.” She said softly and looked over at the boy from English. He had his head turned towards the scene. Slowly walking over towards it. Somehow she felt relieved he was coming over. Adam sighed and shook his head.

    “Let me make it up for you. How bout I buy you lunch today.” He offered. Alice shook her head and got to her feet. Still pinned against the wall. Adam’s hands on either side of her body.

    “You’re apology was enough, can you just please leave?” She asked her eyes falling to the ground again. Adam chuckled lightly and put two fingers under her chin.

    “Why hide those eyes of yo-” He was pulled off of her and shoved to the ground. The boy from English standing in front of Alice.

    “I believe she asked you to leave.” He growled. Adam struggled to his feet. Said something Alice didn’t quite check. The boy turned towards her. “I saw the whole thing, you ok?” He asked looking over her. She was fine, just a little unnerved. She was never good with close contact.

    “I’m fine.” She said and looked up at him. “Umm, I’m Alice and thanks.” She said and bit her lip. He was gorgeous up close. She blushed and looked to the side. He wouldn’t want anything to do with her. He was just being nice.

    “Glad to hear you are alright Alice, I’m Travis.” He said to her and chuckled. “You take care of yourself.” He told her and then walked inside. Leaving Alice to her thoughts. She bit her lip and leaned back against the wall. Way to go. Blushing at a few kind words and a pretty face. Way to keep to yourself. She looked over at a couple girls who were staring at her. For the thing with Adam or Travis. It beat her. She pulled herself together and walked into the school. Heading to music. She was glad she had this class. She loved music. It was her escape from her step-father. She hated that man. He was, how to put it. An abusive and drunk a*****e who did to many things to Alice. He was the reason she was so scared. So quiet. Why she had long scars down her wrists and cried herself to sleep. He was the reason she hated life. Why she didn’t get close to anyone. She walked into the room grabbing a cello and sitting down in first chair. She fought to get this spot. She had talent. Pure, natural talent. It was a way for her to relax and escape life. She started to warm up, playing a rather soft and sad tune on the cello. Making it sing.

    The class was over much to soon. Alice opened her eyes and sighed. Putting her cello back. She thanked the teacher for a wonderful classes and headed to the cafeteria. She dodged a few people she knew were trouble. Sarah and Kayla. Two girls that were once her best friends. Before she told them about her step-father. They called her over dramatic. Turns out they both like the man, they were even sleeping with him. Whores, Alice scoffed and grabbed a tray of food. She sat down at table in the back near a window. Staying to herself and nibbling on a turkey sandwich watching people socialize. Her eyes fell onto Travis who was walking towards her with a tray of food.

    “This spot taken?” He asked curiously. Alice shook her head. He sat down and stuck a fry in his mouth. Looking over the quiet girl in front of him. “You ok, you seem troubled.”

    “I’m fine, just thinking.” She answered and took a sip of her water. “Why are you even talking to me. If its not obvious I am not that well liked.” She said pointing to the glares. It was her third year at this school. She never really like it, but it was her first year staying in the dorms. Her family moved. She was thankful for that. She could breathe a little bit. She ran into Adam quite a few times. They had a history. The scene on the wall was a game he liked to play. It was called the ‘nice-guy’ act.

    Travis titled his head. “What I can’t talk to you. As I recall it is a free country.” He noted with a chuckled and smiled at Alice again. “I don’t really fit in with normal people, but everyone needs a friend. You seem to need one, tell me what’s wrong?” He asked. Alice looked up at him. Was this guy for real? Was he asking her what was wrong? It sounded real. Like he might care. No! Alice shook her head. It was a trick. It was always a trick.

    “Just miss home you know.” She lied, silently praying he wouldn’t see through the horrible lie she just said. How could she miss that place. Her mom was always way to high in the sky to even care her precious daughter was being smacked around like a rag doll. It was times like these, Alice missed her real father. Even if he couldn’t make that much money. At least he cared for her. She grasped the small gold heart necklace that he gave her. It was his mothers, it meant a lot to him. Somehow, she felt as if it was last thing that someone gave, that was actually out of true love. True unmatched and real love. The kind she wanted to feel again.