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A nice, sunny weekend. However, the weekend wasn't going to be just any ordinary weekend.
A local high school student, Kitty flinches because she's watching The Exorcist on her laptop in her backyard with some popcorn and a soda.
She drops her popcorn on the deck and her soda on her lap because she heard a loud bang because a SpaceEgg Module crashed in her backyard.
She pauses the movie then turns around to see a big spaceship shaped like an egg in her backyaed.
Her being curious, she walks towards it with a quizical brow and begins investigating.
She spots the windsheild of the module and wipes the dirt off of it and sees a girl in nothing but a long labcoat, unconscious on the floor.
Kitty breaks through the windsheild and pulls the girl inside her house, Kitty's parents arent home.
A few hours later, Luna wakes up to the smell of cinnamon waffles and fresh fruit. Kitty brings in two plates, each with two waffles and a fruit salad with vanilla yogurt.
Luna, not knowing where she is, asks Kitty where she is in a language that no one understands. Kitty tells her she doesnt understand.
Luna, speaking shaky english, explains again where she came from.
At first, when Luna woke up, she thought that Kitty was an alien because of the catears that Kitty always wears.
When Kitty explained her side, Luna and Kitty become fast friends. BFFs. Best Friends Forever
The next day, Kitty brings Luna and a buisness envelope of paperwork to the main office of Kitty's high school.
In exchange, Luna gets her school uniform, her schoolbooks, and her schedule which is the same as Kitty's.
Both girls go to their first class, Mr. Wood's English class. Mr. Wood begins teaching about Romeo and Juliet.
Kitty passes a note to Luna saying she was being stared at by a boy in the classroom. Mr. Wood steps out to answer a call from his doctor.
After Mr. Wood steps out, Ryan, the school hotshot and punk, and his gang of boys begin picking on Kitty on how she's dressed, her cat ears, what she has on her laptop, etc.
While thats going on, Luna takes notes on behavior in a classroom when the teacher isnt present.
Ryan keeps teasing Kitty about how stupid her cat ears looked and how she must be an alien from another planet.
He takes her glasses from her, she chases him clumsily around the classroom eventually crashing into a brickwall. Ryan breaks her glasses.
Kitty puts in her contacts but keeps getting picked on by Ryan and his boys. Kitty grabs her stuff and runs out the classroom in tears.
After Kitty leaves, Ryan begins flirting on Luna telling her all kinds of lies that Kitty has done over the 2 years of high school.
Luna pushes, literally pushes Ryan out of the way, grabs her stuff, and runs after Kitty.
Kitty is seen in the last stall of the girl's bathroom, crying her eyes out until her eyes are red.
Lunchtime. Ryan spots Kitty and Luna walk into the cafeteria late with Luna's arm around Kitty's shoulders while she's wiping her tears away.
Once the cafeteria quiets down, Ryan calls Kitty out because of the cat ears.
She runs out of the cafeteria crying again and Luna, not liking what Ryan did to her best friend, swears in another language at Ryan,
slaps him in the face, then runs after Kitty to make sure she's alright.
The Next Day. In Mr. Wood's classroom, the teacher is absent so Luna and Kitty are watching episodes of Stargate SG-1 while Kitty explains whats going on to Luna.
While thats going on, Kitty tries to ignore the paperballs being flung at her. A few minutes later, she gets punched in the back of the head by Ryan.
Luna, not liking what she saw, does the same to Ryan then takes Kitty and their stuff into the library where they can be together in peace.
To avoid anymore confrontation that could possibly lead to suspension, Kitty got a hallpass to the library.
After gathering their belongings, the two girls are walking to the library when Michael stops them. Michael asks for a hall pass and Kitty shows him the pass.
Kitty introduces Luna to Michael and vice versa. Ryan pops up out of nowhere and starts making trouble with Kitty and Michael. Michael asks Ryan for a hall pass.
Ryan shows him a forged hallpass. Michael says "Get off your puppy, you mutant lizard, and go to detention."
Kitty started laughing but pounced a pint of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. Luna and Michael couldn't help but laugh because they thought it was so cute.
Michael escorted the two girls to the library.
Once at the library, the two girls went to a cubicle wihle the kids in detention were sat at the other end of the library doing homework.
The administrator of detention went to use the bathroom and Ryan, once the administrator was fully outside,
made his way towards the two girls and sits on Kitty then begins flirting with Luna. Kitty does nothing but squirm because of Ryan's weight.
Luna sat there, trying to ignore him. After about 20 minutes, Ryan gets the idea and vows that he'll be back. The girls never saw him until the end of the week.
Friday. Step Day. As the two girls are making their way to the gymnasium, Kitty explains to Luna what Step Day is all about.
After about 5 minutes, the Stepping Teams make their way towards the gym floor.
The teams are; The Jocks, The Preps, The Punks, The Sk8ers, The Nerds, The Outcasts, The Gangbangers, and The Future Execs.
ROUND ONEThe Jocks versus The Preps are up first.
As The Jocks are doing their steps, Kitty nudges Luna then points to Michael, who is the referee.
Luna is videotaping the whole event. As the Preps are doing their steps, Michael calls down Kitty to be an official judge.
Kitty announces that The Jocks won that round. The Punks versus The Sk8ers are up next. The Sk8ers move on. The Nerds versus The Outcasts.
Nerds move on to the next round. Final round, The Gangbangers versus The Future Execs.
After a tie, both teams move into the Lightning Round where one representative of each team goes into the middle and battles.
Ryan steps out for The Gangbangers and David steps out for the Future Execs. Those two battle in who has the best steps.
After careful judging because both boys were exellent, it is declared that The Gangbangers move on.
ROUND TWO The Jocks versus The Sk8ers. The Nerds versus The Gangbangers.
ROUND THREE; FREESTYLE The Sk8ers versus The Gangbangers.
Whenever Step Day happens, The Sk8ers and Gangbangers get into a full out fight. Soon after each team does their steps, it goes into a Lightning Round.
The deal with the Lightning Round is this; each team is given 10 minutes to freestyle any step they can come up with. Once one teammate falls or gets injured,
that team is automatically disqualified and the other team wins.
The Rules for the Lightning Round;
1. steps must be clean
2. the audience is the judges
3. better have some water on the sidelines
4. Have fun
- by DarkLadyofPepsi |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 06/11/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: Teenagers
- Artist: DarkLadyofPepsi
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Description:
This is part of a movie story I'm making. Hope its good so far! :)
Any creative critisim will be much appreciated :D
Thank You!! Enjoy!! - Date: 06/11/2009
- Tags: teenagers
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Comments (3 Comments)
- ForeverNerdyy - 01/26/2010
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All i can say is what has already been mentioned.
This is pretty amazing but you need to focus on one thing at a time with more detail and emotion.
This could be more than amazing you just need to go over the rough edges - Report As Spam
- applejack00 - 09/23/2009
- i have to say, there's some interesting stuff in there, but it's really all over the place. You need a little more organization to get this going. Also, the way you write is really dry, with very little emotion -- use descriptive words! Metaphors, similes, all that good stuff. Probably once you have dialogue and stuff it'll be better.
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- Yomi ko Ten - 06/24/2009
- You have many ideas for this story, and that is very good. Although, this piece sounds more like an outline rather than an actual story. This piece needs organization and revision. You need to separate each idea into different paragraphs and go more into depth with each idea to make a more eye-catching plot. You could probably go more into depth with Kitty, Luna, and Ryan judging they are the main characters. Just use more descriptive words, and maybe even a poetic device or two. ^-^
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